Money Issues and Paying Tithes

If you just want to know what I'm going to say about this, without reading through my long dissertation, the bottom line is our church believes that we do not have to pay tithes, and that we should not expect any earthly reward for giving to our church.

I have talked before about how when I choose to get into something, it's more often than not something no one else knows about. This time, we've really done it up good. I can't even talk to the majority of Christians about my faith. Our church is non-denominational. I think we are called Berean Dispensationalists. We believe that Paul is our Apostle, and he was ministering to the "Gentiles" which means anyone who isn't Jewish. We are Bible believers. We believe that the Bible should be "rightly divided" according to II Timothy 2:15 - Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. We don't just listen to what our pastor tells us that the Bible is saying, but we read it for ourselves and decide for ourselves. We only use the King James Version Bible (which is a plus for me. I've always been put off by the new versions of the Bible. I have felt offended and like we are being dumbed down to think that the Bible has to be translated into "everyday" language because people are too stupid to figure out what Bible language means.) We believe that we are living in the Age of Grace. Some of what I am learning is hard to grasp. For example, BDs do not believe that God "leads" us. I have still not accepted that 100% but I am still researching and trying to figure out what I'm missing. I have believed for my entire life that God is with me and leading me through life. Well, actually I strayed for a few years, but especially in the past year I felt much leading by God. I will explore this topic at another time, when I understand more about it.

Most everything else makes a lot of sense, feels logical, intelligent, and also confirms lifelong impressions. Take the topic of giving tithes, for example. I've had trouble coming up with 10% of my gross income most of my life for one thing, and secondly, the notion that God will bless you 10 times over for tithing 10%. It has never felt right. In spite of myself, I would always catch myself wondering and watching and waiting for that 10 times the amount I gave to come rolling back into my wallet. From the age of five, I was taught to give 10% of my gross income. For most of my life I've not been in a position to give 10% to the church. When I was in my teens, I was expected to give our pastor (Mrs. So and So) all of my income since I lived in her home and someone had to pay for my room and board. However, she was also extricating fairly large sums of money each month from my mother, for child support. Because after all, someone had to pay for my room and board! (Obviously I was a very expensive boarder. NOT.) My mother also felt guilty and Mrs. So and So was able to persuade her to give much more than 10%. I believe the sum my mother regularly gave to Mrs. So and So was $300 to $400 per month. I'm sure that was most of the grocery money back then (7 children). Since the grocery money was given away, my mother would then go to her mother and "borrow" the money. Mrs. So and So said that since my grandparents didn't pay their 10% tithes to the church, God was taking that money from them. This is wrong, so very wrong. I know for a fact that my stepfather wasn't making $3000 to $4000 per month, so the amount of money was way, way, way over what my mother should have given. I'd be surprised to find out if he was bringing in more than $1200 a month. That would have been back in 1980.

My mother was convinced early on in her relationship with Mrs. So and So to faithfully pay her tithes, no matter what. She was convinced the year I was six. I remember what happened. Mrs. S&S had asked my mother for her tithes. My mother had under $20 to her name at the time. She declined to give it to Mrs. S&S who promptly told my mother that God would take that money from her for her disobedience to God's servant. Later my mom went to the store, with her three little girls. Remember my father had abandoned us approximately one year earlier, so she was all alone and barely making ends meet. Mama bought groceries and we got out to the car and she absentmindedly put the couple bags of groceries on top of the car. She got her babies in the car and... drove away... leaving the bags of groceries on top of the car. They didn't stay there for long. When we got home and the groceries were gone, my mother realized what she had done, and drove us back to the store. We found some of our groceries spilled onto the road, but not much was left. My mother was very frightened by this experience and convinced that God had punished her and took those groceries from us. She was scared from that time on to not give tithes. Ten years later I was sent to live with Mrs. S&S. At that point in time my mother was commanded to give the large sum of money each month to pay for me living there.

For a long time, I considered myself "paid up" with regards to tithing, since I gave my entire paycheck every week for more than five years. I haven't felt a lot of guilt over the past twenty or so years mostly because I'd convinced myself I was paid up. But the idea remained in my mind, that we should be paying 10% of our gross.

The part about where you get blessed 10 times over when you pay tithes has always struck me as the wrong way of thinking, sort of like playing the lottery. I had one Christian tell me that it's okay if I don't pay tithes - God won't punish me. He will just withhold the blessings that He would have given me, had I paid my tithes. Another Christian tried to persuade me to tithe to a specific television minister because he had been blessed financially every time he tithed to this particular minister. This guy has to be THE biggest scam artist out there.

One of the first things I learned about our church is that they don't expect us to give tithes. When I told that to my mother, she asked, "But how do they keep the church open?" I explained that we go by the scripture verse of Paul's: II Corinthians 9:7 - Every man according as he purpose in his heart, so let him give, not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

Our church teaches that this means we should think carefully about how much we can give, and to give that amount cheerfully. Otherwise, don't give.

Back to the part about my mother getting money from her parents to feed their children. This caused a great rift in our family. Now my Grandma has died and she had some money in the bank 10 years ago. My Grandpa told my Aunt before he died in 1990, "Be sure to get all the money you can from Grandma, before your sister gets it all." So my Aunt started getting large amounts of money from Grandma and BUYING LAND. Big bunches of land. And land for her daughter, too. Where my mother was getting $300-$400 a month for food, my Aunt was getting thousands of dollars at a time. Like, $9000 or $20,000. Then Grandma started getting confused and walking through the neighborhood looking for "Daddy" (my Grandpa) and fell and hit her head and it just got to be where she couldn't live alone, so my mom moved her into her home.

Of course, Grandma's money came with her. My mom sold Grandma's house, too. My Aunt figures she should get around $30,000. But that money was spent taking care of Grandma over the past 10 years. My mother provided 24 hour a day, around the clock care. Seven days a week. Never a holiday or vacation. Constant, every minute of every day. My mom was afraid my Aunt would be mad. She finally got hold of my Aunt's husband to let him know Grandma was in hospice and my Aunt never called her back.

My Grandma paid for her cremation and memorial services at the funeral home many years ago. Probably in 1990 or so. But we live in a state where the whole family has to give approval for the deceased's wishes. This means my mom and my Aunt have to sign paperwork and agree that Grandma can be cremated. My Aunt is now refusing to call the funeral home back. They have been trying to reach her for over a week now. I guess if she won't answer the phone or call back, the next step they take is assembling their team of lawyers to get a court order to follow through with Grandma's wishes.

All over money. Poor Grandma. She never set out to make anyone's life miserable just because she was so frugal. She was the most frugal person I've EVER known. She would put some of today's frugal people to shame. Of course, living through the depression helped her out in that regard. She was generous with her money, but it was embarrassing to ask her for money to pay your electricity bill, knowing hers was only $20 a month because she kept all her lights turned off, except for one bare bulb. She only watched television a little bit each day or week. Her water bill was even less. She rarely flushed her toilet using the handle because she would leave a bucket in the kitchen sink to gather water when she washed her hands (for decades there was only a tub and toilet in the bathroom) or washed a dish. Then she'd carry the little bucket to the bathroom to pour the water into the toilet and flush it.

If you want to know more about why we don't have to pay tithes in the Age of Grace, here is a bible study that explains it in detail.

Until next time.