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Weeding the Garden

The rain last week did wonderful things for my garden. One of the best - it made pulling weeds a cinch.

I went out this morning and spent about half an hour pulling weeds. I got some before and after shots.
I left the one little fern looking weed. I'm not sure what it is.

This next section shows the Freckles lettuce going to seed. It is a romaine style or cos lettuce.

Much more tidy. The weeds take nutrients from the ground that would be used by my vegetables, so it is important to remove them.


There's my guard kitty, Miss Vicious. She's been keeping an eye on the gopher hole this morning.



I left some of the weeds because the gopher isn't bothering my plants - maybe it is eating the weeds?

After I gathered up all the weeds, I gave them to the fowl. They LOVE it when I bring them fresh greens from the garden.

See the duck? We have two. Dh bought them several months ago, to butcher for Christmas. Well, it turns out there was a male and a female; the female has started to lay eggs. The male is the one visible in the next photo. He's white. His wife is brown. I think the pair have received a pardon since they are "earning" their keep by producing eggs, and maybe more ducks in the future.


I wish we could let them free range, but our dogs would kill them in a heart beat. There are also flying predators that have tried to attack our chickens from the top of their cage.

Until next time.

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Thanksgiving Day 2008

Today was such a fantastic day. Dh, Kev and I all took dishes to prepare which made the cooking much easier.

I woke up at 6am to the sound of a downpour. It makes a very different sound than normal household noises, of course there is a similarity to rushing water, but also a pounding sound.

When I put the turkey on the grill around 10:30am, the sky looked very dark and foreboding to the north of us.

It rained after awhile and while Kev was washing dishes he spotted a fantastic shot outside the kitchen window - raindrops gathered on one of our Palo Verde trees. We both went out with our cameras to see what we could capture.

I managed to capture a very lovely Bokeh photo. I finally remembered to download Pioneer Woman's "actions". This one is SOOC - "straight out of camera".

This next one is the last photo, but photoshopped with Pioneer Woman's "action" PW's B&W. Is this not a lovely photo? One single raindrop. Wow, I love it.

Dh made his Sticky-D's World Famous All You Can Eat Chocolate Chunky Poopy Pie.

Here's the recipe:

Kev cut up vegetables for our veggie tray; I made my homemade Ranch style dip. Kev says I need to write the recipe down in case I die.


Today I used 1/2 cup Daisy Sour Cream and 1/2 cup homemade goat milk yogurt. Then I just added these items: parsley flakes, 2 crushed cloves of garlic, onion powder, pinch of paprika, black pepper, salt, pinch of garlic powder. Mix and serve with veggies.

Kev made Green Beans Almondine. Here's the beautiful fresh green beans cooking in a cast iron skillet.


Dh made the dressing he and Kev came up with a few years ago. Recipe to follow one day soon.

I kept my camera in my pocket most of the day - when we went out to milk around 1:00. There were some amazing clouds.

I made my traditional potato rolls. Kev was quite enthralled with the Parkerhouse rolls, although he didn't get one. He got one that peeled apart like a cinnamon roll. Usually I only make crescent-shaped rolls. I only used 1/4 whole wheat flour this time, with white unbleached King Arthur's Bread Flour for the rest. I didn't want to stop and grind more wheat berries. They are the best I've made in years. I think the bread flour helped a lot.

Here's a shot of the table with all the fixin's. The lovely snowman plates are courtesy of my amazing mother-in-law. She found a full set at a thrift store either 3 or 4 years ago, and I exclaimed how gorgeous they were and she wanted me to have them.

We had our Thanksgiving Dinner around 3:30pm. I went and laid down for a while - my feet are still bothering me. They are better, but standing on them for many hours still makes them hurt and my lower back has started to bother me, too, so I had to lay down for about twenty minutes. The food hadn't been put away and so I finally got up so I could get things put away and relax. Kev helped me, and we actually cleaned the kitchen! We are really lax about cleaning the dishes after dinner around here. I told the guys this morning the only rule was that each of us had to clean up after ourselves. Since we were all cooking something, and taking turns in the kitchen, it was pretty important to keep caught up on the dishes and cookware.

While I was washing the dishes, I remembered how my aunt used to take me and my siblings on a walk after Thanksgiving Dinner, and then I don't remember what led to this next, but I wanted to have a fire and sit out around it. Kev had been working on hymns, so I said maybe we could sit around a "campfire" and sing hymns. It's so quiet and dark out there, and voices travel for miles. It took a little bit to get the fire started, because it's been raining after all. Kev and I dug a shallow pit first, lining the dirt around the circle. Dh heard us talking outside and decided to come see what we were up to. We tried to get ds1 to join us, but he doesn't fancy being outside after dark, in the cold, where there might be werewolves, for heaven's sake!


Me and my honey. If you click on the image to see a bigger version, you will see two bright lights in the background. Dh said it was the space station Jupiter and Venus (CORRECTION: I couldn't really remember what he said last night, and could have sworn he said it was the space station, so asked him this morning if he'd said that and he exclaimed that he'd told me Jupiter and Venus. I remember I was taking pictures or something, so I wasn't listening). The Milky Way is also very visible out here. When we first moved out, we promised ourselves we'd get into stargazing since we can see so many billions of stars out here in the country. It used to be pitch black at night when we first moved out, but a lot more people have moved out that have installed their own personal street light. Oh, and dh just informed me that Pluto is no longer a planet.


Our handsome son, Kev, and Echo, his guitar.

We sat outside for about an hour singing hymns. Kev taped it, I've asked him if he'll cut me out one bit of our singing. We sounded okay, it's the first time we've sang together and taped ourselves. Like I said earlier, voices travel long distances in our area... we often hear people having parties with music from miles away. We wondered if anyone could hear us "hymning".

Until next time.

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Cranberry Chocolate Bread Pudding

I have just come in from looking at the garden, I am so happy to see all the new babies. It rained yesterday and really hard during the night, and again this morning at 6am it was pouring buckets. The earth is saturated. If it rains again, our wash will fill and be running. I love the rain. Yesterday Kev came to work with me and we stayed in town to go to Wednesday night Bible study. On the way there, we saw a gorgeous rainbow. It was a double rainbow which circled the sky and we could see clearly one end to the other. Kev took a few shots. It was so brilliant - the photos can't do it justice. Here's a picture - it came out gold-tinted so it's photoshopped.

Kev wanted me to make my bread pudding, my Pioneer Woman knock off. I didn't realize he wanted it on the dinner table so I got yammered at (by Kev and the dh) for twenty minutes when I had a piece of it for breakfast.


I changed the recipe again. Here's what I did this time:

2 eggs
2 tablespoons melted butter
2 tablespoons vanilla
2 1/2 cups milk
1 cup sugar (cut down from 1 1/4 cup)
3 1/2 to 5 cups wheat challah bread, cut into 1-inch cubes
1/3 cup almonds, chopped finely
1 handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 handful of fresh cranberries

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Beat together eggs, butter, vanilla, and milk. Add sugar and mix until sugar is dissolved. Arrange bread cubes tightly in a nine-inch baking dish. Pour liquid over the bread, making sure you get all of it good and soaked. Sprinkle chocolate chips and cranberries on the top. Take a spoon and smash the bread cubes down so they soak up some of the liquid. Sprinkle walnuts all over and bake for 55 to 70 minutes, or until crust is golden brown all over the top.

In the previous recipe, at 55 minutes, there was still liquid in the center. So I took the dish out and used a spoon to mash down so that the liquid seeped throughout the bread. I cooked it for another 25 minutes and then it was done.

The bread I used today was a loaf of artisan wheat challah bread that's been in the freezer for several months. I got it from work (we get food donations). I think the bread was drier, or maybe because it was wheat? I did use 5 cups of cubed bread. At any rate, when I checked it at 55 minutes, it was puffy and light. We also got a big donation of almonds a few months ago, so I used those instead of walnuts.

I poured some heavy cream over it. It was delicious.

Until next time.

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My 2009 Pinetree Seed Catalog Arrived!

My favorite seed catalog arrived yesterday. I get a few others, but this one has been coming for over a dozen years. I could literally spend hours perusing it, and I find myself feeling annoyed that I don't have more time to look through it.

I'm chagrined that the prices have risen so high since I first started using Pinetree, but really they are still quite economical considering the prices of other seed catalogs. You can still get a pack with 300 beet seeds for $0.95, plus shipping. It's much more economical to buy several packs of seeds at the same time, to lower the cost of shipping per pack. Shipping is $3.75 for up to $19.99, which is still quite a good deal.

When I ordered in October, they sent me a $2.00 coupon, so I need to order before the coupon expires on December 1st.

I'll let you know what I'm ordering when I know.

Until next time.

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Tiger and His Big Foot, and His Best Buddy Lionel

Ds1 gave them a tiny purple bouquet to nestle between the two of them. Lionel is totally grey, I don't think he has even one white or black hair. Check out Tiger's peach-toned, black-lined nose.

Until next time.

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Burrowing Owl

Today ds1 had a follow up visit with our asthma/allergy specialist. He's been using the Zyrtec and the nasal spray, but has been resistant to using the Pulmicort. I just heard of Ask a Patient a few days ago which is a site where people can go to share their experiences and side effects from prescription drugs.

I was talking with one of my coworkers about ds1's reluctance to use the Pulmicort and she said maybe it's making him feel bad, but he can't explain that to me. She's right, he does have a hard time communicating at times. To make it more difficult, he has a habit of saying what he thinks I want to hear.

The doctor listened carefully to ds1's lungs and said he sounds fine. I explained that he hasn't been using any asthma medication. It was a relief that he is breathing okay without being on constant medication.

We stopped by Big 5 on our way home. OH, I never updated about my shoes here!!!! The shoes went on sale the VERY NEXT DAY!! From $54.99 down to $19.99!! I was so happy when I saw that on Monday. I am stocking up on these shoes while they are on sale. I was also able to use a 10% off coupon, so paid $17.99. My boss says she buys six pairs of shoes at a time when she finds one she likes, so I decided I would do that, too. I went back to Big 5 to see if I could get another pair, and also to get my money back as they have a price guarantee policy! I had discovered this from a different Big 5, one I went to in the big city. The lady said if the shoes go on sale within 30 days, they will refund the difference. The store I went to today, I explained to the cashier that I'd paid $54.99 for the shoes last Friday and they went on sale the next day, and handed her the receipt. She wasn't sure what I expected her to do, and verbalized that. I explained that I'd been told by another store that was their policy and she said she'd never heard of anything like that, but she'd ask. I got my money back, and they had one pair of my size shoes, so I bought them. Then I asked the manager if they could get any more of my size shoes, and he was able to find two more pair from another store. He warned me it could take as long as 2-3 weeks, and I told him that would be perfectly fine. I even offered to pay for the shoes in advance, but he said they preferred that I paid when the shoes came in just in case they weren't able to find any available.

Anyway, before I went into Big 5, I spotted a small owl. Dh stopped right there so I could get a picture. It was so surprising to see an owl at a strip mall! This first photo illustrates its small size. I think it might have lived down in the gutter which you can see behind it in the next photo.

I zoomed in with my camera, and got this awesome picture.

When I got home I did a bit of research online and discovered this small owl is a Burrowing Owl Athene cunicularia.

It is so neat to see a bird you've never seen before and find out exactly what it is. Simply fascinating. I guess I can understand a little bit the fascination with birding.

Until next time.

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The Difference Between Flash and No Flash

The comparison between these two photos is astounding to me. I was in the garden one afternoon as the sun was going down. I wanted to capture a picture of my garden guard kitty, Miss Vicious, so my first picture was taken using the standard setting for my camera, which includes use of the flash. Pioneer Woman says to try not to ever use the flash, but I am not very good at non-flash images. My goodness, it looks pitch black outside.

Now here is the photo without flash, within seconds.

Isn't the difference amazing?

Until next time.

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Homemade Big Macs

Kev really outdoes himself some days.

Dh and I had to go into town last Friday, and while we were out we bought some fresh ground hamburger so we could have hamburgers for dinner.

After we got home, while we were out milking, Kev grilled the burgers and proceeded to make homemade Big Macs.

I guess the most important ingredient is the "secret sauce". Here is Top Secret Recipe's attempt at the clone.

I'm going to type it in just in case the Internet loses it:

• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 2 T. French dressing
• 4 t. sweet pickle relish
• 1 T. finely minced white onion
• 1 t. white vinegar
• 1 t. sugar
• 1/8 t. salt
  

1. Combine all of the ingredients in a small bowl. Stir well.

2. Place sauce in a covered container and refrigerate for several hours, or overnight, so that the flavors blend. Stir the sauce a couple of times as it chills.

Makes about 3/4 cup.

Awesome.

Until next time.

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My Feet, Oh My Aching Feet

I was diagnosed with Plantar Fasciitis some time ago, maybe two or three years. The foot doctor gave me some inserts and sent me on my way. About six months later, while at my primary care physician's office, my doctor says to me while looking at my chart, "I see you have Plantar Fasciitis." I was awestruck that I'd never heard that diagnosis, especially since dh had been diagnosed with the same just a few weeks prior to my appointment with the foot doctor. You'd think I'd remember having the exact same painful condition as my dear husband (his has been much worse than mine for many years now). So apparently the foot doctor never actually told me that I have Plantar Fasciitis.

Anyway, I didn't really think too much about it, and even stopped wearing my inserts for about a year.

Then back in July, while doing a video Taebo workout with ds1, I pulled my heel. And it's been Pain City ever since. My foot was real bad during church camp, excruciatingly painful upon waking in the morning. We had to walk uphill to eat twice a day. The first day we had to go up the hill was very difficult. The pain in my foot was severe, my asthma was acting up; it was difficult trying to breathe in such a high altitude. It got easier as the days went by.

One thing that makes my feet much worse is wearing shoes that aren't cushioned enough. I just got a new pair of shoes not too long ago, and the cushioning wore out very quickly, within weeks. I searched out my inserts, thinking that would help. That was two weeks ago. I wore the inserts to work all week long. Thinking my feet would get used to them eventually, but by the end of the week my feet were aching so bad I was hobbling around - like I remember seeing my Grandpa do when I was a child. I always felt so bad for him with his bad feet, but my sympathy has increased a thousand fold since my feet have become worse.

I looked for some shoes with cushioning on the weekend of 8th, but only found these, which are not appropriate for the work place. One of my ex-coworkers has about a half dozen pair in every color you can imagine. I think they are the ugliest things. I mentioned this to my boss and she said the ex-coworker wears them because her feet hurt her so bad. :-( I never knew. She is still getting COBRA through my job, so she comes in every once in a while.

However, they are much more comfortable than anything I had to wear at home, and I learned through reading various websites that I need to protect my feet at all times. It has gotten to where I can't even walk from bed to the bathroom in the middle of night without putting these clog things on. The carpeted floor is difficult enough to stand on, I have been in such pain that I can't bear to stand in the shower, so I wear them in the shower, too.

The next week, I wore a soft insert on top of the orthotic insert. Just for a couple of days, before I had to take the orthotic insert out. And then dh and I stopped at Walmart to buy some inserts for both our feet. The pair I picked out was horrible, and we need to return them. The pair dh picked out were a little better, but my feet were still killing me.

It makes life much less bearable when your feet are hurting so bad, your toes are aching like they are bruised and your heels have constant shooting pains.

On the 14th, dh and I went into town to try to find me a new pair of shoes. Thankfully, I was successful, thanks to dh. I found a pair that is so cushiony and comfy. If it turns out that these shoes are comfortable, I am tempted to go back and buy another four or ten pair. They are men's shoes. Nevados.

No thanks to the salesman, who when I asked if he could tell me which shoes had the most cushion, told me the New Balance I was looking at were indeed THE most cushioned shoes he could offer. I asked him if he had any men's shoes that were more cushioned, but he said the New Balance were the best in the store. I told him that they didn't feel very cushioned, while pressing into the insole with my fingers. To this he replied, "Oh, but don't you want to try them on? I'm sure they'll feel much better on your feet. That happens a lot. They don't feel very cushioned, but once you put them on..." Oh dear, oh dear. Somedays I wish God would just rapture us out of here. I retorted to him that actually my experience is directly opposite: when the cushioning feels good to my fingers, I don't feel any cushioning with my feet.

I almost bought the New Balance, and then dh landed upon these Nevados.


They are men's shoes. Size 8. I won't know positively if they are going to work as my feet have been hurting very badly for the past two weeks. But so far, it seems like my feet are comfortable. I am hoping with wearing these shoes with the nice cushioning my feet can finally heal.

Today as I went through many pairs of shoes, some insoles were not glued in. I was able to take them out and actually look at the thickness. The thickness ranged from 1/8 inch to 1/4 inch. These Nevados have about 1/2 inch of padding in the heel. There is room for my toes. My poor toes, they feel bruised from wearing shoes with inserts. I can't find this style on the Internet, and I wonder if all Nevados are as comfortable as this pair.

I asked Kev how he thinks these are going to go with my dresses at church on Sunday and he doesn't think they are going to look good at all. I'm not sure what to do, as I prefer to wear dresses to church. I don't have any dress shoes that are comfortable, so I may have to resort to wearing these shoes with my dresses, or maybe I'll cave in and wear jeans. I'm actually one of the few women who wear dresses to our church. My feet were doing very bad during our church conference and this is the main reason I didn't bring any dresses to wear. I just stuck to wearing my jeans.

Oh, and these shoes weren't cheap. I did get them from Big 5 Sporting Goods, a place that purportedly sells "last year's model". They came in to just under $60 after tax. But if I can resume walking - not power walking mind you, nor walking for exercise, but just simply standing at the stove cooking, or at the sink washing dishes, or walking from my desk to the printer down the hallway at work, it's worth it. Especially when you look at some of the prices you can pay for shoes nowadays.

Until next time.

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Like Manna From Heaven

I always thought the expression "like manna from heaven" meant the food was delicious beyond words. Exodus 16:31 tells us a bit about what manna looked and tasted like, as does Numbers 11:7.

Exodus 16:31 And the house of Israel called the name thereof Manna: and it was like coriander seed, white; and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey.

Numbers 11:7 And the manna was as coriander seed, and the colour thereof as the colour of bdellium.

However, the Israelites started getting hungry for other things:

Numbers 11:4 And the mixt multitude that was among them fell a lusting: and the children of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat?

Numbers 11:5 We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick:

Numbers 11:6 But now our soul is dried away: there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes.

So I guess manna wasn't delicious beyond words, I guess not when it's all you've eaten for forty years in a row.

Exodus 16:35 And the children of Israel did eat manna forty years, until they came to a land inhabited; they did eat manna, until they came unto the borders of the land of Canaan.

At any rate, to get back to the title of my post... let's go with manna being delicious beyond words. Just humor me.

I had insomnia last night, and I know I've written before, even within the last ten days that my insomnia is often caused by hunger that does not exhibit itself physically.

Sometimes I'm just stubborn and don't want to eat anything, even though I know if I do, I will almost certainly be able to get back to sleep. I woke up at 1:30 and laid there about 15 minutes before deciding to get up and get something done on the computer that I've been needing to do. Something that will organize a part of my life and should make it easier.

Around 3:40am, Kev stumbled out of his room. He said something about food within an hour of getting up and mentioned cheese crisps. By that time I was starting to feel quite hungry. He decided against them, because we didn't have any hot sauce. But my mouth was already primed for a cheese crisp, and my stomach was getting more and more hungry by the minute.

I mentioned them again, and Kev decided to make us each a cheese crisp and a lovely bowl of leftover chili, with a plop of sour cream.

He brought mine to me, and I can't even begin to put into words how exquisitely delicious the combination was.

The most delicious taste is to drop a spoonful of chili onto the cheese crisp. Oh boy, oh boy. So yummy.

We finally found a chili recipe that we all love. We've made it several times since Kev found it. This is the original recipe: Flatlander Chili but as usual we made some changes to the ingredients.

Here's our version:

• 4 pounds lean ground beef
• 4 (8 ounce) cans tomato sauce
• 2 (15 ounce) cans diced tomato
• 1 1/2 cups chopped onion
• 1/2 cup chopped celery
• 1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon white sugar
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
• 2 lbs dried beans, cooked (the guys use pintos)
  

1. Cook beans ahead of time (several hours).
   
2. Place ground beef in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium-high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble, and set aside.
3. Add all ingredients to a large kettle. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Cheese Crisps (also known as Quesadillas)

Start with a clean cast iron skillet with just a tiny bit of butter to keep the tortilla from sticking. Place one tortilla in the skillet, add some shredded cheese and top with another tortilla. Cook over medium heat until lightly toasted on side, turn and cook on the other side.

Until next time.

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1st Wedding Anniversary

Dh and I were married the first time in 1986. We were two dumb kids and we thought we could conquer the world. In fact, our song was Nothing's Going To Stop Us Now by Jefferson Starship. We had only dated three months when we got married. I figured my grandparents did it, and their marriage survived for decades, we could do it, too.

We bought our first house in March of 1987 and our first baby boy was born in April 1987.

Things started going downhill for us when we learned in July that our baby had Down Syndrome. We loved our baby so much and were shocked that the doctor would suggest such a thing. After the appointment I called my sister Dee Elle, for her first child born to her when she was 18 had Down Syndrome. She accused the doctor of wanting to make money by doing an unnecessary test. Ds1 didn't look like he had Down Syndrome, and didn't act like it either. Dee Elle's husband was in the military and they did extensive testing on her daughter and both parents. They discovered that her husband had two cousins born with Down Syndrome, so naturally we assumed it had something to do with his side of the family. Even though we knew it was not actually hereditary, as her daughter had Trisomy 21, the type of Down Syndrome which is not hereditary.

I read over the information the pediatrician sent home with us, and he'd pointed out the identifying characteristics which had cued him at Ds1's birth. The Simian crease in both hands which I see is now referred to as a Single palmar crease. The wide space between his big toe and next toe. His pinky finger that had a bend to it.

As I read over the information, I realized the doctor was right. He said he hadn't wanted to say anything right away, and waited until ds1 was 3 months old to make the suggestion. After I knew, then it made sense why ds1 never smiled until he was eight weeks old. He was already showing signs of mental delay.

The world turned black for about three days. We cried and mourned; it was as if our baby had died. Indeed, the first lady I talked to about Down Syndrome told me in a sense, our baby had died. The hopes and dreams of a so called "normal" child. But I was also comforted and reassured when I met her daughter, a young girl about ten years old. I'll never forget the most important thing that lady ever told me, she said, "Always remember your son will be more normal than not. He will run and play, and make friends, and have a life. He's just a little different."

Unfortunately, dh's alcoholism increased drastically with this sad news. There was the responsibility of a new home, wife and now a child with a disability.

In 1989, Kev was born. We were excited to welcome a new member to our little family. Ds1 loved his new baby brother.

Here Ds1 is helping Kev eat eggs, except Kev's head is totally covered in eggs.

The boys sleep snuggled together.

Ds1 grins at his little brother standing at the couch.

Sadly, by 1991, things had gotten to a point where I couldn't continue living the way we were living. Dh wasn't going to stop drinking, and there was nothing I could do to make him stop.

Our divorce was final in October 1992.

It took a few years for him to sober up, but he finally did. By 1999, I was feeling overwhelmed with raising two boys all alone, and dh came to live with us. Strictly platonic, because I was too scared to trust him.

For the next few years we lived together, parenting our boys; we became best friends. We work together well, we shared every aspect of our lives, but still I kept him at arm's length. Ds1 was so happy that his Pa was living with us again. He wanted us to be together, and would push us together, hoping we'd hug. At the store sometimes, he'd grab my hand and we'd walk together for a while, then he'd try to put my hand into his father's. It was a bit uncomfortable, but it was clear that ds1 wanted us back together.

I had two good friends who patiently and cautiously would ask every so often why dh and I didn't get back together. We were such good friends, worked together well, shared the same parenting philosophies and religious beliefs. Why not give him a second chance, they'd ask? Dh was patient, and recognized he couldn't push this decision. As I grew to know him better each day, I started to think maybe, just maybe. But I was so scared. I reminded myself of the past, and how it used to be. My two friends would remind me he was sober, and my best friend. Why not reunite?

I was so terrified. I remember driving to work one morning, crying and praying to God, telling him he'd have to soften my heart, because I had worked to keep it hardened.

Eventually I decided to reunite. People at my job actually cried when I told them the news.

We began planning our second wedding in June 2007. First I planned to sew my own gown, it was going to be dark green. I started getting overwhelmed while making the test camisole, it looked like a maternity smock, ugh. Still, I went and bought the jade green lace, and blue lace for the test dress. I still have all this beautiful material. By July 18th I was still determined to make the test dress and talked to a lady at dh's job who told me she thought time was running short as she'd made her daughter's wedding gown and it took every spare minute she had for months. That started to deter me.

By July 22nd, I'd officially given up on making my own dress. The last straw was when one of my good friends suggested we go shopping at a place she knew would have something I could wear. I found a dress that I loved. This was also the day dh asked me, "Isn't October 20th the day our divorce was final?" Yes, it was. We were to be reunited 15 years to the day we were divorced. I also decided to have Ds1 walk me down the aisle and give me away. Here he is, giving me away. I'm starting to cry at this point, because Ds1 has wanted us to be together for many years, and now he is getting to be the one to hand me to his father.

I chose my processional song. But then I found out it was a Catholic song worshipping Mary. Dh thought it sounded like a funeral song anyway. I thought dh and I might have a "first dance" together, only neither of us know how to ballroom dance. My boss said she'd teach me and one of my coworkers made such fun of me during my first lesson that eventually I decided against having a first dance.

Then I decided I didn't want the dress I'd chosen. I wanted a REAL wedding gown. A white one. I found one at Goodwill on 50% off day for $25. It was a little big on me, and dh told me after I bought it that he didn't know why I'd gotten it, I already had one. Well, I'd decided I wanted this one. I'm so glad I got it.

I started looking for hair styles. I decided to make my own veil. I designed the floral centerpieces. I thought about making some tablecloths from lace, but decided against it in the end. I used it instead on the floor under the arch. I decided to make a wedding program. I sewed 1,064 beads along the edging of the veil. Did you ever try sewing with clear thread? It's definitely a labor of love. I decided on my bouquet and figured out how to make boutonnières.

I wet washed my wedding gown all by myself. On September 8th my friend did my test hairdo and makeup. I found our "special glasses" that my boss said we had to have. I wasn't about to pay $25 for two glasses. I helped my mom pick out the dress she would wear. I found dh his suit which looked fabulous on him. The jacket was brand new, as was the shirt and tie, but the pants were from Goodwill, along with the shoes.

I finished the veil on October 8th, sewed the fancy piece to the back of the wedding gown to dress it up a bit more, and looked into what it would take to alter the dress. I would need to take it in a couple of inches on each side at the ribcage area.

On October 10th, I was panicking. I got the guestbook pages printed out, using OfficeMax since my printers at home couldn't handle the thicker paper. I got Ds1 into his suit to see how it would fit and look and we got him a wig so he'd have "hair". I ordered a present for my boss.

On October 13th, I shared the poem dh wrote for me the previous Christmas, the one he agreed to read during the wedding ceremony. I bought the arch at Michael's for 50% off, the final cost: $15. My wonderful MIL buys all the paper goods for the wedding reception. I'm still unsure about my procession song! I bought some boutonnières and corsages off eBay and the lady sent me all her extras!

And to top it all off, we're on birth watch for one of our does, who is due to kid any day now. Only I am not sure exactly when she was bred as I have misplaced my barn records for that particular month. Thankfully Kev excavated the gate leading into the pen the doe is staying in.

Three days left. I decided to take some time off work. Dh plans to make the cake.

On the 17th, my MIL comes to my rescue with my processional song, which I still hadn't picked out. She suggested The Very Thought of You by Nat King Cole. It was totally perfect. My mom gives me an arsenal of stress relief products so I can cope with the stress of the upcoming wedding. I worked on getting lots of last minute things done, like sewing buttons on ds1's suit, altering the dress and worked on the poem I was trying to write to read to dh during the ceremony.

Here's the cake dh made. Kev came with me both on the day before the wedding, to clean and set up the room, and on the day of the wedding to help my boss get everything ready. Dh and Ds1 came later on the day of the wedding. The doe finally gave birth on the 19th. Here's the poem I ended up writing for dh, with Kev's help. And speaking of Kev, don't miss his poem Scurrying About, A Poem My Mom Should Have Wrote.

The day after the wedding, I recount each memory. We honeymooned at a resort that is only 20 miles from home (thanks again to my fabulous MIL).

On Monday the 22nd, I'm still floating. It was such a lovely day. I really felt like a princess.

We celebrated our second 1st anniversary last month. I forgot to post about it.

Dh had flowers sent to my job. Beautiful white long stemmed roses, which I'd wanted as a reminder of my bridal bouquet. They were just gorgeous, and so lovely. He also got me a lovely, heartfelt card.

Kev made cheese enchiladas, spanish rice and beans for dinner (one of my favorite meals) and we pulled out the top of the wedding cake and had a slice for dessert. Here we are slicing the cake together. We watched the wedding DVD that Kev put together. We laughed and laughed all over again.

I'm very happy to have married this wonderful man, and so happy that our family is together again.

Until next time.

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Warm Vanilla Milk

I couldn't sleep a few nights ago. I hate just lying there, wondering why I'm awake. Knowing I have to get up at a certain time. It was different during the years when I was a stay at home mom and had no set schedule.

I learned in my thirties that sometimes when I can't sleep it's because I'm hungry. Only I don't feel hungry at all. And in fact, the thought of putting food in my mouth is the last thing I'm interested in. I learned by trial and error if I just get up and eat something with protein: a hunk of cheese, a glass of milk, a couple of slices of ham or turkey, I'm able to go back to sleep. Even though food is the last thing on my mind, and even sounds repulsive. I believe I learned this because when I was a stay at home mom, I could be more flexible with my schedule. I could get up and read a book, wash dishes or get on the computer. And usually after being up for a couple of hours, finally, my stomach would start growling. Suddenly and voraciously.

One of my coworkers has diabetes and she says it can be a sign of low blood sugar to be hungry, but not feel hungry.

Anyway, the other night as I was lying there, unable to sleep, I reminded myself, "Self, you're probably hungry, you should get up and get something to snack on." Hot cocoa sounded good, and we had Ovaltine (I like to keep it on hand for a quick glass of cold chocolate goat's milk for breakfast). Only when I got up, I couldn't find the Ovaltine. It wasn't in the usual place, and wasn't in the pantry area either. That means it probably got left in the car. I'm not going out for Ovaltine at nearly midnight, so I thought of what else might sound appealing.

I decided on having what I will call Vanilla Milk. Here's the ingredients.

• 1 cup milk (obviously I used fresh goat's milk)
• 1 tsp. vanilla (homemade using vanilla beans and vodka)
• 1 tsp. butter
• 1 T. maple syrup

Heat until just warm.

If you like vanilla, you will love this.

Until next time.

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The New Garden Bed

My grand idea for the new bed seems to be a flop. The problem is I thought we could get by with using straight compost to fill the pallet, but it's too airy and isn't holding moisture well. I tell you, if it's not one thing, it's another.

The watering system is having trouble working due to the airiness. Normally the ground is dense enough that the water spreads evenly, but with the airy compost it is flowing downward, not outward.

Normally I mix the compost into the dirt already in the bed. In hindsight, that's what we should have done. We should have mixed equal parts compost with dirt before filling the pallet. But that would have been one more huge step.

It's imperative that the bed stay moist during the next few days so the seeds can germinate. Today it's possible for me to run out there every couple hours and spray the bed with the hose. Dh found an old spare hose that I can use for that purpose. We have lots of hoses around here, and most are in daily use for watering the critters.

I think I want raised beds. I can line the bottom with hardware cloth to keep out the gophers and make the sides 16 inches tall. I hope they can't jump or climb.

Here are some of the sites I found which show the type I want:

Sunset: The Perfect Raised Bed (We would of course use used material, not brand new. $178? No way.)

Here's another one from Sunset - five raised beds for $500. Sheesh.

Garden Girl builds raised beds. I just read at the last site, use treated wood or it will rot quickly. Garden Girl says not to... also, she is using 10" wide boards, while Sunset says they will warp easy or come apart at the sides.

Wet dirt is heavy.

About.com's How to Make a Raised Bed.

I've been Square Foot Gardening for over a decade.

Earth Easy says don't use treated wood until it's been proven safe. They suggest using cedar instead, and project the beds will last 10-20 years. They also suggest composite plastic lumber.

University of Illinois says raised beds stay warmer. Hmmm... it is plenty hot here in the summer time. Although I don't do a lot of gardening in the summer.

Heh, check out this idea for raised beds: Using flagstone to make low walls, which only costs $190 to $280 per ton, PLUS delivery. And each bed uses 3 tons. Funny.

University of Arizona Cooperative Extension says raised beds use LOTS of water in the summertime. Hmmm... well, I'll have to think more about this.

Until next time.

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Seeds Planted

Okay, the second bed is planted. It took me from 9:30am to 2:30pm to get the watering system set up, and the seeds planted. I took an hour break between noon and one.

It takes time, but it's worth it. Also, it wouldn't take so much time if I didn't have to worry about all the critters out here that want to eat my veggies.

Also, if I bought new watering system equipment it would have been quicker. I spent a good hour rummaging around looking for pieces so I could put the system together. I had to put ends on the hose that runs from the faucet to the bed, I shortened the length of the hose on the first bed. Just a lot of little things.

I also drew a map of where I would plant everything in the garden. Unfortunately I sketched the map wrong, so I thought I had more room than I did. But that's okay. I compromised. Hmmm... the BS in the first row there stands for Brussels Sprouts. Every once in a while I come across a word that I've spelled wrong all my life. Brussels Sprouts contains one of those words. I never realized Brussels had the "s" at the end.

It is so exciting to me during the next week, waiting to see the brand new baby plants poking their heads up through the soil.

I am trying something completely different with this bed. I lined the bottom of a pallet with hardware cloth and chicken wire, with hopes of keeping the gophers out. I also lined the sides of the pallets along the edges so that they go up about one foot. I hope gophers can't climb. *crossing fingers* Dh filled the spaces in the pallets with composted goat manure/hay which is also mixed with dirt. The watering system didn't do a very good job at moistening the dirt, so I ended up using a hose with a sprinkler attachment. I think I will go out there at least once a day and water the entire area real well. Once the seeds have germinated, they will seek out water from the nearest source. But the seeds won't germinate unless they stay nice and wet.

It occurred to me as I was sketching out the map that I'd forgotten that it's important to plant vegetables together that do well side by side...

I am soaking my Sweet Pea flower seeds, and actually had to use that spot in the garden to plant the turnips and carrots! I will have to figure out what to do about the Sweet Pea seeds, and the celery seeds tomorrow. They are both soaking.

Well, it's time to milk now.

Until next time.

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