A Woman's Prerogative

First of all, when did they start spelling Prerogative with "pre" at the beginning of the word!?

What a mixed bunch of torn feelings I went through on Friday afternoon. I agonized for several hours over the camisole before finally deciding to totally skip Step 8. Not a good idea? After giving up, I studied again and FINALLY it sunk in what I was supposed to do.

I called a friend during the time I'd given up and she told me her story about sewing 15 spa wraps for her daughter's recent wedding (less than one month ago). I had called to confirm our plans for Saturday. She encouraged me to consider buying my wedding dress, instead of trying to make it. In spite of giving up, I did forge on and finish the camisole except for the zipper.


Here's a little peek of what it was like inside my head:

Optimist Bride: I've always wanted to make my own wedding gown. I started crocheting a vest with cotton string back in 1986 but was unable to complete it. Press on, girlfriend, be brave and proud, we can do this!

Realist Bride: You sure are a glutton for punishment. You have low energy, and you're gone hours and hours each day of every week. And you REALLY think it's realistic to make a test dress AND the real thing within the next three months?

Optimist Bride: Shut up, you're just jealous!

What Will They Think Bride: Don't listen to the naysayers who tell you this is too difficult. They will be thrilled to see you fail!

Overwhelmed Bride: I don't wanna sew anymore!!! I've only sewed three items in my life, what was I thinking!?

Frugal Bride: The money! What about the money you've already spent on TWO patterns, material and lace for the test dress and lace for the REAL dress? Money wasted! WASTED!

Fat Bride: What if the dress doesn't look good on me? What if I go through all this work and hassle and agony and stress and I look like the side of a barn?

What Will They Think Bride: But what about all the people who have discouraged you? They will win! This is your perfect opportunity for you to show them all!

Fat Bride: But what if the dress makes me look like an elephant? Then what?

Optimist Bride: I can do this, I never give up.

Realist Bride: You're kind of stubborn.

Overwhelmed Bride: There's a lot of other things you could be doing to get ready for the wedding besides slaving over a sewing machine. I can't figure out what this pattern is saying. I'm skipping steps, I don't think this is going to work.

Realist Bride: R says she found a $600 wedding gown for her daughter at this one store and she only paid $35! Let's try that?

Frugal Bride: Only $35? I thought you said wedding gowns cost hundreds of dollars? I could maybe get on board but this better not cost more than $50! Remember how much money you've already wasted!

Optimist Bride: NO, never give up! I can do this! I can! I will! I won't be stopped!

Realist Bride: Someone gag her. I'm going shopping!

Although I actually HATE shopping. By Saturday morning, I'd decided I was ready to throw in the towel.

We picked through the racks for over an hour and found 19 evening gown type dresses that I could consider sizes 18 to 24. The place is packed with women milling all over, everywhere. We went to stand in line at the dressing room. There were four women in front of us. Ten items at a time, so my friend took 9 and I took 10. I stayed in the dressing room, she handed me dresses, zipped me, put the dresses back on hangers. She LOVES this! I was sweating like a pig, my feet were hurting (and starting to stink, I definitely wore the wrong shoes!). From those first 19 we kept two. One was really beautiful off white, fully beaded at the top. It was an 18 and I was able to barely squeeze into it. But it was sleeveless (pale, white, fat arms) and the way my rear sticks out like a shelf this dress just didn't flatter the backside of me. It was a GORGEOUS dress though and I considered it for quite a while as my wedding dress. Only $20!! If I could wear a dress that looks like a wedding gown anywhere other than my own wedding, I would have snapped it up. But it was skin tight, the zipper was pulling, no sleeves. The other one that I thought could work was a size 16.

We went back into the trenches and dug some more. It helped this time knowing that 20s and up were actually too big, 18 almost right.

This time we found seven more dresses for me to try on. They gave us the handicapped dressing room which worked out great.

I ended up choosing a dress that is actually available currently at Nordstrom's, retails at $158.00. It was marked down to $19.97.

Here is the dress on the model:
And I also found my shoes. They are Steve Madden shoes. Silver with a small rhinestone buckle. The shoes were $18.99.

And then today I succumbed to my curiosity and scheduled a fitting appointment at David's Bridal. I was ONLY interested in the gowns available for $99. The sale was ending today. A friend of mine who is getting married three weeks after us found her gown there. It was originally $649 and was on sale for $99. I thought I'd just have a look-see.

When I got there I told them I wanted to look at the sale gowns and they showed me the rack. All the gowns were small sizes, except for one size 16. My consultant asked what size I normally wear and I told her 18 or 20. She said their gowns run a size or two bigger. So no temptation there. Whew. I thought I was going a little bit crazy there. Although those I told about my curiosity encouraged me to check it out. Truth be told, I guess I would really love to have an ivory gown with beading. I know I was all gung ho against white, but then I was gung ho against blue and look at my gown. I will be going back to the discount shop where I found my dress, with my mom, to find her a dress and with dh to see if we can find a suit for him. So I can still skim the racks while I'm there.

Today I ordered some wedding favors off eBay. They are these cute little cards with a poem and a silver wedding bell. 100 favors for $17. I ordered two more books today about wedding planning. Those two came to $13. Both expedited shipping. So I could have saved $4 by waiting for Media Mail... I know it all adds up...

Also there was a little fiasco with who might escort me down the aisle. We decided ds1 will have the honor since he has for years held my hand and then walk me over to dh and put my hand into his. Before we got back together he would do that. So he has already done it quite a bit. Maybe he could also hold the ring in his pocket. I think he would really enjoy being a part of the wedding. Ds2 is going to be manning his digital camera and camcorder. Maybe he might like to hold the ring.

Yesterday we stopped by a thrift store on the way home from church and ds2 found 3 pairs of dress pants, two cost $2.99 each (50% off) and he found a dress jacket that cost $7.99. We also found a pair of dress pants for ds1, but no jackets. Nothing for dh yet.

Last but not least. Today on the way home, dh asked me, "What is the date we are getting married?" I said, "The 20th of October?" He then asked, "Isn't that the date of our divorce?" And then it hit me. I kept thinking there was some significance to the 20th of October, but I couldn't come up with anything. I know my mom's birthday is the 18th and ds2's is the 6th. The whole point for waiting until after ds2's birthday is I want the boys to be able to sign as our witnesses. So yeah. The date of our divorce will be the date of our wedding. Kind of like we are taking up on the day we parted.

Until next time.