Colors and Logic

Last night was our annual client dance, lots of people attended. It was quite fun. We decided to raffle off our most eligible bachelor to go with one of the gift certificates from a local restaurant.

Every year one thing that confuses the heck out of me is the reasoning behind the coffee pots. There are black coffee pots and brown coffee pots. Now which one would YOU put the regular coffee in, and which one would you put the decaffeinated in? Think about that for a bit while I blather on for a bit.

Something that will bug me for a long time and I'm not sure how to resolve it will be a song that was played by the DJ. There's no way I can recreate it here for you, and I'm not that good at humming. It has drums and probably some wind instruments -- is a trumpet considered a wind instrument? But it goes something like this, "Dooo-dooo-do-dooooooo! DoDOOOOOOOO! BOOM-boom-BOOM-boom-BOOM-boom." See, I told you it wouldn't help.

Anyway, it's from something like Star Wars, but I don't think it's from Star Wars, so some movie from the 70s or 80s. One of our tech guys who is 23yo, told me it was from Revenge of the Nerds. ROTN may have USED this song in their movie, but it isn't from there originally!! It is so funny working with such a young guy, I feel like a really old fogie.

There is a young woman that works part time for us as receptionist for our rehab director. She's got the most beautiful body, gorgeous teeth. She wore a slinky, form fitting dress and high heels to last night's event. I guess she didn't know she was working? All staff are expected to serve the clients drinks, food, clear tables, etc. I could see her being a hostess at a restaurant in that outfit. I remember when my body resembled hers. Ah, youth.

Okay, so back to the coffee. To my mind, black - regular coffee, would go in the BLACK coffee pots. Decaffeinated makes me think "watered down" although I know that's not accurate, but my mind tells me that coffee would go into the brown pots. So I have to play a mind game to keep it straight. I have to tell myself, "Regular coffee goes in black pots, but not here, it's the opposite." I use a similar saying to remember which side the goat's rumen is on. Right and rumen start with the same letter, but the rumen is on the LEFT side. I was tired due to my insomnia the prior evening, and I wasn't thinking clearly. So when our receptionist said she was putting yellow dots on the brown, I mean BLACK pots to indicate DECAF, I told her I was going to have to write a B for Black and she really got frustrated with me and said don't try to change things that have been this way for years. And I actually wrote "B" on three of four dots, before I realized I meant to write D and that is why she was getting all bent out of shape. I really wasn't thinking clearly. Yeah, no duh. Because today I realize I should have been writing an R for regular. Sheesh.

Now the thing about working for an agency which provides rehabilitation for the blind and visually impaired... for starters, many people can't even distinguish a difference between the brown and black pots. Either they are totally blind (which is only about 15% of the blind community) or they have limited vision (severely visually impaired or low vision). But they can feel a dot, or see a bright yellow dot which contrasts with the black coffee pot. That is probably how it started, but on the other hand, so many things are illogical where I work. For a person who needs logic, it confuses me when people do things backwards than what I think they should do them.

Something has been biting me, I have a few bites on my legs, and I must have some on my back by my shoulder blade, since it keeps itching. I'm beginning to understand the need for owning a back scratcher. It's when you get old and fat and you can't reach anymore. I'm finding these long handled wooden spoons work FABULOUSLY as back scratchers. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

A friend, well, kind of an ex-friend was supposed to attend last night, but never showed, at least not to my knowledge. We had a bit of something, a misunderstanding? I don't know. But she is the first person I've actively decided to no longer be friends with. What a bad sentence. Let me see if I can improve it. I have never before made an active decision to no longer be friends with a person, she is the first. Better?

I was home by 10:40pm last night. So far past my bedtime, I'm not sure how I managed to stay awake. I was in bed by 11pm, and couldn't get to sleep very easily. So of course I was up at 4am and feel exhausted right now.

I have been rereading one of my books The Highly Sensitive Person in Love. I would like to locate just the regular book The Highly Sensitive Person. I think life in general just wears me out.

My diet has been abysmal. I would say it started with the Taco Bell, Dairy Queen, Burger King fiasco. Was that only Monday? Hmmm, I guess it was. When I was younger, during my dieting phase, I experienced a lot of insomnia. I think I was hungry. I know when I was pregnant, if I was hungry, there was no way I could sleep. That continues to be true for me. I haven't been making my kefir smoothie, which I usually at least have on T, W and Thursdays. I haven't been having my butter fried "meat" (usually a hamburg patty or chicken breast) with veggies on the weekends. It feels like I'm constantly hungry. Even when I've just eaten an hour or two ago. I have learned this constant hunger is directly related to the type of food I'm eating. If it is dense, nutritionally rich, traditional type food, I do not experience it. I experience regular hunger, I eat "real" food, I'm satisfied. I don't experience the constant hunger. Yesterday I finished off the rest of the chicken and rice soup that my boss brought me (she told me she brought it to help me feel better after the "garnishment" fiasco). It was made with white rice, the last half had one or two hunks of chicken breast, carrots, celery. But not really anything substantial. I was quite hungry about an hour later, and ate the rest of my leftover Habanero Chili. That only stayed with me for an hour or so. So by the time I was writing B's on the coffee pots, I was really HUNGRY.

And this morning, I've only had 12 ounces of goat's milk, and I feel like my stomach is eating itself. It's an odd feeling of hunger. About the only "real" food I've consumed in days, *IS* the goat's milk. I think I'm going to be nice to myself, and make myself a butter fried hamburger patty, with some zucchini. Then I'll take my nap. Hopefully I'll sleep better with some real food in my stomach.

I asked ds2 when was he going to get back onto Nourishing Traditions? He asked me if I'd been eating that way. I told him no and I could definitely feel the difference. If I thought I was tired and brain dead before, AGH. There is a real difference. I told him I want to read Eat Fat, Lose Fat again and see if I can make any improvements upon my last attempt on this way of eating.

Until next time.