The Killer Cinnamon Rolls

One of my dear readers requested the recipe for the Killer Cinnamon Rolls:

Preheat oven to 375°F.

• 4 3/4 to 5 1/4 cups all-purpose flour [we use bread flour]
• 1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast
• 1 cup milk [raw goat's milk!]
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 t. salt
• 3 eggs
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 T. ground cinnamon
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (optional)
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional)
• 1 cup finely chopped, peeled apple (optional)
• 1 T. half-n-half or light cream [we used raw goat's milk!]
• 1 recipe Cream Cheese Frosting or Vanilla Glaze (recipes follow).

1. In a large mixing bowl, combine 2 1/4 cups of the flour and the yeast. In a saucepan, heat and stir milk, 1/3 cup butter, granulated sugar, and salt, just until warm (120°F to 130°F) and butter almost melts. Add to flour mixture, along with eggs. Beat with electric mixer on low speed for thirty seconds (scraping bowl). Beat on high speed 3 minutes. Stir in as much of the remaining flour as you can.

2. Turn dough out onto lightly floured surface. Knead in enough of the remaining flour to make a moderately soft dough that is smooth and elastic (3-5 minutes total). Shape dough into a ball. Place in greased bowl, turn once. Cover; let rise in warm place until double (about 1 hour) [Ds2 found the best results from letting sit in the refrigerator and slowly rise from 16-24 hours.]

3. Punch dough down. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide in half. Cover; let rest for ten minutes. Meanwhile, lightly grease two 9" x 1 1/2" baking pans or two baking sheets. Set aside. For filling, stir together brown sugar, the 1/4 cup flour and cinnamon [you can add an extra teaspoon if you like them really cinnamon-y.] Cut in one-third cup butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. [Ds2 says he used room temperature-soft butter and whipped with the mixer until the mixture was "pulverized", then meticulously spread it out in a perfectly even layer on the rolls.]

4. Roll each half into a 12" x 8" rectangle. [If using the 16-24 hour cold rise, let dough come to room temperature before rolling out about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.] Sprinkle filling over dough rectangles. [Ds2 used a pastry scraper for an even layer and put a 2"-long double-layer from the end you begin rolling from.] If desired, sprinkle raisins and/or pecans- or apple, to make something reminiscent of the bear claw. Roll up each rectangle, starting from long side. Seal seams. Slice each roll into twelve pieces. [Ds2 used a length of floss to cut the dough into 1 inch thick but only eight pieces: slide floss under roll, pull up where you want to cut, bring the floss together and slice through the dough -- this trick he learned from his dear old Ma.] Place cut sides down in prepared pans or cookie sheets.

5. Cover dough loosely with plastic wrap leaving room for rolls to rise. Chill for two to twenty-four hours. [At this stage, I think that they would freeze beautifully if you wanted to make a large batch and freeze for later use - no guarantees though!] Uncover; let stand at room temperature for thirty minutes to one hour (or to bake rolls right away, don't chill the dough, instead cover loosely; let dough rise in a warm place until nearly double, about thirty minutes.)

6. Break any surface bubbles with a greased toothpick. Brush dough with half-n-half. Bake in a 375°F oven for 20-25 minutes or until light brown (if necessary, cover rolls with foil for the last 5-10 minutes of baking to prevent overbrowning.) Remove from oven, brush again with half-n-half, cool for one minute. Carefully invert rolls onto wire rack. Cool slightly [I don't invert, no allow them to cool. Die rolls, die!]. Invert again onto a serving platter. Drizzle with vanilla glaze, serve warm [I use Cream Cheese Frosting instead of vanilla glaze.]

Vanilla Glaze:

For making glazed rolls, in a small bowl, stir together 1 1/4 cups sifted powdered sugar, 1 t. light colored corn syrup and 1/2 t. vanilla. Add enough half-n-half or light cream (1 to 2 tablespoons) to reach drizzling consistency.

Cream Cheese Frosting

• 1 eight-ounce package cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 2 t. vanilla
• 2 to 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1. Beat cream cheese, butter, and vanilla with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Gradually add powdered sugar, beating well. [This should frost the entire batch with some left over. Also, the original recipe called for SIX cups powdered sugar, but this recipe is PLENTY sweet.]

Until next time.

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Highly Sensitive People

Ds2 helped me with hoof trims this morning. It was humid, but felt cool and breezy at 7am. It went SOOOO smoothly and again I thank God for the help from my ds.

Yesterday when I separated the kids from their mothers, I only separated buckling kids. Today was the first day for three wethers (neutered males) to be away from their dams all day long. Two are almost four months old, and the other is 3 months old. It is common to wean males (unless you have determined they are "sire" material) at 8 weeks of age, so these boys were on their moms fairly long. The remaining little buckling is 8 weeks old and we banded him today. I had also planned to wean him, but it is a bit uncomfortable for the little boys to be banded so I didn't want to wean him and band him in the same day.

I milked this afternoon. I got nearly one half gallon. It doesn't seem like I'm going to need to milk twice a day though, because the girls aren't giving *that* much milk in the afternoon. I am probably going to milk twice a day for one week and see how it goes, then cut down gradually next weekend and only milk once a day. If it weren't so hot in the afternoon, I'd consider cutting out the morning milking and only do it in the afternoon.

The does are showing signs of being deficient in copper, so I will begin supplementing copper tomorrow. That could cause low milk production.

I found my book quite by accident, the one I mentioned that I was wanting to reread The Highly Sensitive Person : How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron. I have found some things that are helping me to feel okay about myself. I'm not just a big whiner and complainer, and I'm probably tired so much because I *am* a highly sensitive person and I just have a lot going on. I gotta remember this!!!

Ms. Aron lists a few things to help the HSP recognize that having this trait does make one special:

• Better at spotting errors and avoiding making errors
• Highly conscientious
• Able to concentrate deeply ( But we do best without distractions)
• Especially good at tasks requiring vigilance, accuracy, speed and detection of minor differences
• Able to process material to deeper levels of what psychologists call "semantic memory"
• Often thinking about our own thinking
• Able to learn without being aware we have learned
• Deeply affected by other people's moods and emotions

Wow. I have all those.

And here is another thing that was helpful:

"Sometimes people with our trait are said to be less happy or less capable of happiness. Of course, we can seem unhappy and moody, at least to non-HSPs, because we spend so much time thinking about things like the meaning of life and death and how complicated everything is - not black-and-white thoughts at all. Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about such things, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. And we certainly don't get any happier having them tell us we are unhappy (by their definition of happy) and that we are a problem for them because we seem unhappy. All those accusations could make anyone unhappy."

So see, I'm just not a whiner -- I tell myself. It's okay, I can rant and rave all I want. It's my blog. ;-)

I'm also rereading Eat Fat, Lose Fat. I want to get back into eating this way, maybe take it a step further this time.

Ds2 made killer cinnamon rolls today. Oh they were SOOOOO delicious. Just what I need... he told me be prepared to eat two or three... they were so sweet, there's no way I could eat more than one. He told me the frosting recipe called for 6 cups powdered sugar, but he cut it down to 2 cups and it's perfectly sweet.


Until next time.

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Colors and Logic

Last night was our annual client dance, lots of people attended. It was quite fun. We decided to raffle off our most eligible bachelor to go with one of the gift certificates from a local restaurant.

Every year one thing that confuses the heck out of me is the reasoning behind the coffee pots. There are black coffee pots and brown coffee pots. Now which one would YOU put the regular coffee in, and which one would you put the decaffeinated in? Think about that for a bit while I blather on for a bit.

Something that will bug me for a long time and I'm not sure how to resolve it will be a song that was played by the DJ. There's no way I can recreate it here for you, and I'm not that good at humming. It has drums and probably some wind instruments -- is a trumpet considered a wind instrument? But it goes something like this, "Dooo-dooo-do-dooooooo! DoDOOOOOOOO! BOOM-boom-BOOM-boom-BOOM-boom." See, I told you it wouldn't help.

Anyway, it's from something like Star Wars, but I don't think it's from Star Wars, so some movie from the 70s or 80s. One of our tech guys who is 23yo, told me it was from Revenge of the Nerds. ROTN may have USED this song in their movie, but it isn't from there originally!! It is so funny working with such a young guy, I feel like a really old fogie.

There is a young woman that works part time for us as receptionist for our rehab director. She's got the most beautiful body, gorgeous teeth. She wore a slinky, form fitting dress and high heels to last night's event. I guess she didn't know she was working? All staff are expected to serve the clients drinks, food, clear tables, etc. I could see her being a hostess at a restaurant in that outfit. I remember when my body resembled hers. Ah, youth.

Okay, so back to the coffee. To my mind, black - regular coffee, would go in the BLACK coffee pots. Decaffeinated makes me think "watered down" although I know that's not accurate, but my mind tells me that coffee would go into the brown pots. So I have to play a mind game to keep it straight. I have to tell myself, "Regular coffee goes in black pots, but not here, it's the opposite." I use a similar saying to remember which side the goat's rumen is on. Right and rumen start with the same letter, but the rumen is on the LEFT side. I was tired due to my insomnia the prior evening, and I wasn't thinking clearly. So when our receptionist said she was putting yellow dots on the brown, I mean BLACK pots to indicate DECAF, I told her I was going to have to write a B for Black and she really got frustrated with me and said don't try to change things that have been this way for years. And I actually wrote "B" on three of four dots, before I realized I meant to write D and that is why she was getting all bent out of shape. I really wasn't thinking clearly. Yeah, no duh. Because today I realize I should have been writing an R for regular. Sheesh.

Now the thing about working for an agency which provides rehabilitation for the blind and visually impaired... for starters, many people can't even distinguish a difference between the brown and black pots. Either they are totally blind (which is only about 15% of the blind community) or they have limited vision (severely visually impaired or low vision). But they can feel a dot, or see a bright yellow dot which contrasts with the black coffee pot. That is probably how it started, but on the other hand, so many things are illogical where I work. For a person who needs logic, it confuses me when people do things backwards than what I think they should do them.

Something has been biting me, I have a few bites on my legs, and I must have some on my back by my shoulder blade, since it keeps itching. I'm beginning to understand the need for owning a back scratcher. It's when you get old and fat and you can't reach anymore. I'm finding these long handled wooden spoons work FABULOUSLY as back scratchers. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

A friend, well, kind of an ex-friend was supposed to attend last night, but never showed, at least not to my knowledge. We had a bit of something, a misunderstanding? I don't know. But she is the first person I've actively decided to no longer be friends with. What a bad sentence. Let me see if I can improve it. I have never before made an active decision to no longer be friends with a person, she is the first. Better?

I was home by 10:40pm last night. So far past my bedtime, I'm not sure how I managed to stay awake. I was in bed by 11pm, and couldn't get to sleep very easily. So of course I was up at 4am and feel exhausted right now.

I have been rereading one of my books The Highly Sensitive Person in Love. I would like to locate just the regular book The Highly Sensitive Person. I think life in general just wears me out.

My diet has been abysmal. I would say it started with the Taco Bell, Dairy Queen, Burger King fiasco. Was that only Monday? Hmmm, I guess it was. When I was younger, during my dieting phase, I experienced a lot of insomnia. I think I was hungry. I know when I was pregnant, if I was hungry, there was no way I could sleep. That continues to be true for me. I haven't been making my kefir smoothie, which I usually at least have on T, W and Thursdays. I haven't been having my butter fried "meat" (usually a hamburg patty or chicken breast) with veggies on the weekends. It feels like I'm constantly hungry. Even when I've just eaten an hour or two ago. I have learned this constant hunger is directly related to the type of food I'm eating. If it is dense, nutritionally rich, traditional type food, I do not experience it. I experience regular hunger, I eat "real" food, I'm satisfied. I don't experience the constant hunger. Yesterday I finished off the rest of the chicken and rice soup that my boss brought me (she told me she brought it to help me feel better after the "garnishment" fiasco). It was made with white rice, the last half had one or two hunks of chicken breast, carrots, celery. But not really anything substantial. I was quite hungry about an hour later, and ate the rest of my leftover Habanero Chili. That only stayed with me for an hour or so. So by the time I was writing B's on the coffee pots, I was really HUNGRY.

And this morning, I've only had 12 ounces of goat's milk, and I feel like my stomach is eating itself. It's an odd feeling of hunger. About the only "real" food I've consumed in days, *IS* the goat's milk. I think I'm going to be nice to myself, and make myself a butter fried hamburger patty, with some zucchini. Then I'll take my nap. Hopefully I'll sleep better with some real food in my stomach.

I asked ds2 when was he going to get back onto Nourishing Traditions? He asked me if I'd been eating that way. I told him no and I could definitely feel the difference. If I thought I was tired and brain dead before, AGH. There is a real difference. I told him I want to read Eat Fat, Lose Fat again and see if I can make any improvements upon my last attempt on this way of eating.

Until next time.

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Insomnia Strikes

I haven't had a bout of insomnia in quite a long time. I woke at 12:30am and could not sleep. Normally for Friday that wouldn't be an issue, but today I am due at work to volunteer for our annual dance that we have for our clients each summer.

I laid in bed for a while before I got up and had a glass of milk. Usually that does the trick. I learned more than a decade ago that if I can't sleep during the night, it is because I am hungry. My stomach does not rumble or indicate hunger for hours; in fact, usually eating is the last thing that comes to mind. But I learned if I just force myself to get up and eat something, I can usually get back to sleep quickly.

Sometimes it doesn't work. I laid there until 1:30am. When I woke from my sound sleep at 12:30am, my first thought was one of concern. Yesterday, dh and ds2 played frisbee outside. Hannah, our oldest dog, is unnaturally obsessed with playing frisbee. According to Cesar, her behavior is unbalanced. She will run for hours, back and forth, back and forth, from one person to the next. The other dogs try to stop her, and they told me yesterday that LJ was chasing her, she growled at him, and they got into a very brief fight.

One thing I have learned and it keeps making a point of itself to me... when you have a dog you need to be aware of its behaviors and stop unwelcome ones in their tracks. For example, LJ was very interested in the broom, mop, vacuum, water hose, shovel, rake. Anything that moves like that. I immediately put a stop to that. Yeah, it's so cute to see a 4 week old baby puppy attacking a broom, but what about when he's a muscle bound year old and you can't get a thing done because he's chewing your broom apart and won't leave it alone.

So... I'm going to have to talk to the guys, and tell them I do not want them playing frisbee in LJ's presence. Crate him in the house, or don't play until I'm there to monitor his behavior. And Hannah needs to be stopped from her obsessive behavior as well. The thing that concerns me is the fact that we've not thought much about her obsessive behavior -- just that this was a game of keepaway. With the heat, there is a real possibility that she could overheat herself. I don't like that things happen like this when I'm gone, but at least I hear about them, and can hopefully persuade the guys that this is not appropriate.

There is no need for Hannah to act psycho when they play frisbee, especially if it is going to bring out the worst in LJ. He needs to also learn that when they play frisbee, it's none of his business. Now if they are playing frisbee *with* him, that's another story. But that's going to be difficult with four other dogs running around.

Then of course, one thing led to another in my mind.

I felt better yesterday, and filled out the necessary forms. I realized that I actually felt numb over the whole thing.

My MIL offered me first dibs at cleaning one of my old buildings. Part of me says I should take it. It is worth $90/week, minus $8.61 for gasoline for the additional miles each week [gas cost figured at the current $2.87/gallon getting 18mpg]. The other part screams in protest, especially since I have decided that I am going to start milking afternoons as well as mornings. Since everyone else is on strike when it comes to milking, that is going to make for an extremely long day for me.

I have been getting up about 4:10am, but with the worming routine, [which ends today, but takes 1-3 more minutes with three does as they will not eat "peanut butter balls" with the herbs as our other does would, so I have to use a "drench gun" filled with the herbs mixed with water and hold their head still and force them to drink it] milking has been taking longer, and I've been getting back in the house later, and therefore getting to work late. So I reset my alarm last night for 3:45am, in hopes that I will get up at 4am. So let's say my day begins at 4am. When I leave work the minute my shift is over, and drive straight home, I'm usually home by 4:30. If I have to stop to do errands, get gas, pick up a few groceries, it's more like 5:30/6pm. If I tack on another half an hour driving to the building, then an hour to clean the building, that will get me home at 6pm earliest- that's if the building only takes one hour, sometimes it can take longer. If I'm responsible for the afternoon milking, I will be out there another half hour minimum. Geez, I'm so tired all the time now, that I am in bed before 7pm if I can do it. I just don't know if I can manage fitting in another hour and a half. Plus, I have to cart more food with me, and eat one more snack/mini-meal on those days, because I'm pretty hungry by 5:30. So I'll be eating later in the day, since dh always cooks dinner, and eating an additional meal. The calories burned by walking through the building might help a bit, but then there's eating so very close to dropping into bed.

Just seems like torture. It would help make a dent in the additional payment. I'm not tired yet, and I'm don't know how I'm going to make this day. My original plan was to go to bed early Thursday night, as usual. Get up at 4am, milk. Come back in and go back to bed until about 8am, and then make my way to work. I will be "on duty" at work until 9pm.

Until next time.

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Think Positive and Gratitude

I figured the "real" papers would show up within a day or two. They showed up today.

I had told myself, if they come, at least I have a plan. My boss and I came up with another plan, and she also found out the amount I will be responsible for is not $800, but $366. Still a lot of money and it kind of freaks me out, but I will only have to pay this amount for 15 more months and then I can have it removed.

Even though I had a plan, just the thought of it all, I started getting upset again, and was in tears again at work. I took some Rescue Remedy twice today.

I had decided to make my appointment for my glasses, even though they will have to go on the credit card, with everything else (including the $366 month). [Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Dh and ds2 have been working pretty steadily, maybe I should just figure they will continue to do so, and we will get out of debt here soon and that money will be paid for easily. It's just hard to think that way, when I've spent most of my life being the breadwinner and in fact as a child, swore on a daily basis to myself that I would NEVER let a man support me. My stepfather was a horrible, hateful man and worked three jobs to support our family of nine. He used to come home and gripe and complain that he worked three jobs to support us and no one loved him. Well, he was so hateful and mean, it wasn't too hard to just straight out despise and hate him, let alone try to conjure up *love* toward him.]

I called my regular optometrist, the co-pay of which is $40 per visit. I paid over $176 for my last pair of single vision glasses two years ago and that was with the insurance paying a portion. They want to do another field vision test [insurance padding, I swear! Especially since the optometrist today said my eyes are healthy.] Since they have to do another vision field test, they cannot see me until mid-August. I explained that I can hardly see through my lenses they are so fogged and the dingbat just made some "oh that's too bad" sounds. I asked her if I couldn't just get in for a regular exam sooner, since it is difficult [and maybe harmful to my vision!?] to see and she just poo-pooed that and said they had to do the whole test or nothing. SCREAM!!

So I decided to give Costco my money.

Costco charges $49 for the optometrist appointment. My frames were $89.99, the lenses were $125 which includes magnetics sunglasses, UV protection, glare something or other and scratch protection. I whined about my current "fogged" glasses and the eyeglasses guy said they have some cleaner you can buy that costs $5.50 with forever free refills that is very gentle and I shouldn't have this problem again. I told him I've worn glasses for almost 30 years and this is the first time I've had the problem. I tell you, too many things break down and don't work. I sometimes wonder if they do this on purpose!!

One of my coworkers paid over $500 for her progressive lens glasses with magnetic sunglasses -- this is through our agency's insurance company. So I think I got off good.

I returned a large jar of artichoke hearts to Costco, which had many tough leaves and stringy sections that could not be chewed. They were so nice when I explained the problem. I didn't have my receipt and they could care less. Ds2 loves Costco, and I'm beginning to be persuaded.

So I was bummed on the way home. Money problems always get me down. I told myself I should list the things I'm grateful for. I came up with a few... hard when you are kind of bummed out. I'm grateful for:

• our personal supply of the white gold (raw milk)
• the air conditioning in my vehicle
• that my vehicle gets me comfortably to and from
• that I have vision to even need to buy glasses
• that I'm relatively healthy (our janitor and her baby seem to be sick constantly)
• that I can walk

That's pretty good for a start.

I'm getting sick of my own whining here. I'm just not a very happy camper lately. I was reading a website of a person that is doing all the things I wish we could do, growing animals on pasture, chickens, cows, etc., and they always sound so happy and thrilled with the farm life. It's not that I hate this life, I'm just so tired all the time, it's hard to have any enthusiasm for anything.

I'm treating three of our does with an herbal wormer, hoping to see their condition improve. One is slender, the other two are very skinny. I posted on a list I'm on what I'm doing, and I got a bunch of suggestions from one lady to chemically worm with two or three different "poisons" within a month's time (this happens to be a "natural" type goat list). GEEZ. I plan to drink the milk, lady!! Some wormers have a SIXTY DAY withdrawal period.

Anyway, that sort of thing gets me down sometimes.

I promised myself when I started this blog, that I would be honest and true to myself. I feel guilty about being so cranky so much of the time. I feel apologetic. I apologized to my boss this morning for getting SOOOO upset yesterday. Poor thing. When the real papers arrived today, she told me she told the executive director she'd rather slit her throat than tell me they arrived. I hate that I was so upset, because it made her feel miserable. But this is part of that "I have to be perfect for everyone" syndrome. I'm a grump, I'm tired. I can complain all I want. It's like those letters I used to write to friends, and they would fall asleep reading them. That's what my blog is for. I can write freely, and I'm not going to worry about what anyone thinks [okay, please don't hate me]. :-/

Until next time.

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The Plan When The Electricity Goes Out

Our electricity company decided to schedule some routine maintenance during the middle of the night last night. I awoke at 1:30am, quite warm. We keep the air conditioner set at 80°F (this is an improvement over having it at 78°F or lower! and we are REALLY hoping the bill won't be $400 THIS month, like it was LAST month!) and you really need a fan blowing directly on your body to stay cool.

I nudged dh and said, "Electricity's out." Stumbled out of bed right away, because ds1 is terrified when the electricity goes off. He always sleeps with lights and television on, so when it suddenly becomes pitch black with no noise or light, he freaks out. As I was stumbling to the door, said again to dh, "Did you hear me?" "What?" "Electricity's out." He too leaped up, knowing someone better get to ds1's room quickly. We both exited the room, to find that ds2 had already discovered the electricity off, and knowing his big bro's tendency for alarm, had beat us both to his room. They were both in the kitchen, with flashlights. Not too long ago, ds2 was just as alarmed at darkness, so he can sympathize. (It is very sweet how ds2 has stepped into the "bigger" brother role to his older brother).

Once ds1 is secured with family and flashlight, my job is to call the electricity company to find out why the lights are out, or to make a report that they are out. That was when I discovered they were doing some scheduled maintenance via a recorded message. Well, nice of them to wait until the hopefully "coolest" part of the night, but unfortunately 90°F still can't be considered "cool". We all learned early on when the electricity goes out, don't run the water or flush the toilet. Our water system runs on a well pump, and there is only so much water in the pipes, so be ultra-conservative.

A couple of months ago, dh and ds2 came across a generator marked down from $1000 to $600 at Home Depot. Since they were working on a job in a rural area that had no electricity, the decision was made to invest in the generator, which came in very handy. Also, since we are on such a large property here, working with electrical tools used to necessitate stringing together several 100' extension cords. Not with the generator!

Dh had actually purchased two cans of gas a few days ago, only to find they both had pinholes in them and were leaking from the bottom. So he ended up siphoning gas from one of our vehicles in order to power the generator for some electricity in the house. One of the first things he did was get my fan going in our bedroom, so I could sleep for a bit longer before having to get up to milk and get ready for work. He also strung cords to the boys' rooms for their fans. Good papa.

I had something happen to work at me today... it ended up being a big mistake, but while it was happening, I was about this close > < to having a nervous breakdown. Some paperwork came to my boss ordering her to garnish my wages by $800/month.

I thought a mistake had been made, but with a few bits of information changed, it could be me. So I called the place that sent the paperwork and I was so upset. I was crying, and cursing, I'm surprised I didn't lay on the floor and kick and scream I was so upset. Geez. And thank God, I only confided in and cried to my boss and one coworker. I made a call to the place and the lady tells me she is so sorry for the inconvenience but a mistake was made and hundreds of people got that same paperwork. The really crappy thing is a child's name was on it, with the child's social security number.

I told my MIL about it, and she said I should look on the bright side. She's right. I'm just so tired all the time, without ending up losing sleep and then having some paperwork come to my job that just about snapped my last nerve.

I have promised myself in the past that I will NOT get this upset again. I can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES I have freaked out over something, so sure it was going to happen and certain doom and failure, and then it ends up being NOTHING. My MIL says I should make a pact with God, maybe a higher power in on the deal will help me keep my head screwed on straight. I called one of my sisters, she was also very good at telling me to keep calm, just do what I could. Anyway, thankfully, it all turned out okay for now.

I gotta catch up on some sleep.

Until next time.

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Guilty Until Proven Innocent

The dentist appointment went well. Ds1 has no cavities, as usual (has never had even one), his gums "aren't too bad" and he cooperated very nicely without any problems whatsoever.

I had a lot of plaque in between my front lower teeth -- more it seems than the last time I had them cleaned and the time prior to that was like 10 years? Kind of weird to have hardly any, then get my teeth cleaned and the next time they are covered. The dentist reminded me that it was time to have one of my molars crowned. I was surprised by that, I had no idea I needed a crown. He said it was the second time he's told me about it. I saw him back in May when one of my teeth was being sensitive. I do not remember him saying anything about a crown. I don't know if it's selective memory or what. I went ahead and made an appointment and the crown will cost me $450 out of pocket. OUCH. Maybe that's why I completely wiped the memory from my mind. The receptionist told me they have a new policy where now they have the patient sign that they have told them they need to have work done. So, she had me sign that I knew the dentist had recommended my having a crown done. I also need new glasses. Those are going to cost at least $250. I need to have those graduated type glasses... progressive lenses they are called. Costco told me they cost about $250 for frames and progressive lenses. My current lenses are fogged and it is awful seeing through them. I hate all these money things that aren't planned and budgeted for.

Here's the criminal part... after ds1 and I got back home, ds2 and I drove his vehicle to the nearest small town to a mechanic. After we dropped off the vehicle, we drove to the bank that SIL's checks are drawn on. She wrote a couple, to each of us. Her signature on the checks didn't match the bank's copy of her signature. So the guy said he'd have to call the company and make sure the checks were valid. I understand something like this having to be done, and even though I knew the checks were valid, I couldn't help but feel like a criminal. The guy came back, said he couldn't get hold of the company and said I could call if I'd like. I had called, and got her daughter on the phone. I'd asked her to go out and tell her mom to check her voice mail because the bank wouldn't cash the checks for us. So ds2 and I waited a few minutes, then called again. The daughter answered and confessed that she had not went to talk to her mom yet. So I asked her to please, if she could, go now and have her mom call me.

So SIL calls me back. She said she'd call the bank. Soon the man came back and said he could cash the checks for us.

Since some of the amount was written to reimburse us for things we'd charged on credit to do the work, I wanted to get money orders. So next we went to a grocery store. Since the money orders were over $500, the store has a policy that they have to take down all your information. Name, address, phone number, social security number, driver's license number, etc. The gal at the counter apologized and said they had to, and explained it was because drug dealers use the money orders to wash their income. They buy the money orders, write them to themselves, then cash them out a few months later. They actually want you to write down who you are going to pay each money order to!! But the gal said I could just write "paying bills" and not itemize each thing. Geez.

So by the time we got all this done, I felt really down. Felt bad about myself, like I'm a loser or even worse, a criminal! I'm really sensitive to this sort of thing, and have to guard myself against becoming depressed. I understand all the things they have to do nowadays, and I would hope that my bank would do the same for me. I understand the store's position.

We (ds2, husband and I) are trying to keep their business expenses separate from the household and have not yet opened a checking account. I thought it would be easy enough to just cash the checks. Not so.

I had a crappy, crappy food day. Ds1 wanted Taco Bell after the dentist, so I indulged there and had a Bean Burrito and a Supreme Crunchy Taco. Then on the way home, he wanted an ice cream from Dairy Queen, of course I had to have one, too. Then no one had cooked dinner and there was nothing quit to prepare, so ds2 and I bought Burger King on the way home. I usually decline on BK, but decided to just have a Whopper and fries.

I'm tired, as usual. I'm going to try really hard to floss at least once a day. I do pretty good at brushing twice daily, almost without fail. Haha, the dental hygienist commented about the two minute toothbrushing. She had asked, about ds1, if we have an electric toothbrush for him and I said we did, and it was nice because it tells you when to switch from one quadrant to the next, every 30 seconds. So I guess she thought *I* was using a similar toothbrush. We do happen to have two of these toothbrushes, so maybe I will start using one of them. Need to buy a new brush head.

Until next time.

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Positive Pitbull Story

These dogs have a really amazing personality. I can't believe I've spent so many years believing the myths. Here is a heartwarming positive story if you are interested in knowing more about this breed. LJ is the happiest dog I've ever known. He's always happy and always smiling and excited about life. He is the one thing that makes me happy, no matter what my mood is. He just makes me smile and feel good inside. Here's another important article A Fall From Grace : The Story of the Pitbull.

Ds1 and I have an appointment at the dentist's today. Both of us are going to get our teeth cleaned.

Ds1 has gum disease already. It is something that affects people with Down Syndrome. I didn't know that when he was first diagnosed and I felt really guilty over it. His gums actually are looking better since his last cleaning. Although I still have to fight with him over brushing his teeth. It's more a matter of making him do something he doesn't want to do. We've tried things like stickers, and I thought about giving him a quarter every time and saving up his money to go see a movie. But it takes energy to brush and floss my own teeth, let alone doing someone else's. I just wish he would brush his teeth on his own, without my having to daily prod and coax.

Ds1 is a master at avoidance. He will even move his schedule around to where he's sleeping during the hours I'm awake and he'll stay in his room until I'm not home. If I insist, he will cooperate, but it's hard for me as I've never been a coercive person. Ever since I was a youngster of ten, left home alone to babysit my younger siblings and expected to make them behave. They traumatized me, I swear. They would do things they shouldn't do, on purpose. I'd chase them down, catch one, be whaling on that one with a belt (yes, unfortunately) and they would be laughing and screaming while the others were taunting me and laughing and pointing "You can't catch me, you can't catch me" and then of course if the house was a wreck when the parents got home, who got in trouble? Me, of course. And that was when I knew that I never wanted a job where I'd have to control anyone. I used to look at the bus drivers and feel sorry for them. I felt sorry for teachers. Especially when other children were acting up. I'd just cringe.

Anyway, I hope he will cooperate for the hygienist today, while I'm getting my teeth cleaned at the same time. I am pretty sure he will do fine.

I leave you with a pitbull smile from LJ.


Until next time.

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It's So Hot, the Hens are on Strike

Day Five. No eggs today either. The hens are panting most of each day, trying to endure the heat. We have tried using fans in the past, but it was akin to opening your oven door which had been baking at 350°F for an hour, then setting up a fan to try and cool things down. Others have tried using water mister systems, but it turns the yard into a sloshy, muddy, slippery, stinky mess.

So the poor chickens do their best to stay cool, dusting in the dirt holes which we fill with water each morning in an attempt to make at least a few cool spots.

The goats are hot, too. Ours are Nubians, which are said to originate from hot climated areas (Africa, Arabia and India) so they tend to tolerate the heat better, but they are still pretty hot out there. I have seen two of them panting, which is really weird since goats don't cool themselves by panting like dogs. Our Nubians have the big long ears, which probably provide some means for cooling. We provide areas of shade which they eventually gravitate towards, but sometimes they are still out laying in the sunshine at noon, chewing cud and dozing. They HATE being wet, they act like acid is falling from the sky when it rains. Even so, somedays when it's so very hot I'll take water bottles out and pour the water over them to wet them down so they can cool off a bit.

Everyone is drinking a ton of water. The turkeys don't seem too bothered by the heat, nor do the cows.

My pup, LJ, stays indoors most of the day, but wouldn't be too upset if he were outside all day long. The dogs have dug a few deep holes that are in shaded areas. The favorite hole is under our manufactured home and seems to emit a cool breeze. He's helped to dig that one very deep and when I go out to find him to bring him in in the mornings, he is usually way down in the hole asleep.

As incentive for doing afternoon chores around 2:30pm, I promise myself I'll be much cooler if I dress for it: straw hat, wet handkerchief around my neck, and sunglasses. HAH. Not by much. And I'm sweating like mad when I get back into the house. I always feel like I need another shower and more time lying in bed with the fan blowing me dry.

LJ usually comes out with us to do chores, as he's been sleeping all morning since about 8am and it's time for a potty break. He comes walking toward me as soon as I turn on the hose to fill the water buckets. He learned quick that being soaked with water helps him tolerate the heat. The only problem is the hose is long and lays out exposed in the sun all day long. I know, stupid. We SHOULD invest in PVC pipe and dig trenches and put in water faucets closer to the water buckets. But for now, the water from the hose is so hot it burns my hand as it is coming out. It takes at least an entire minute for the water to cool down to where it won't burn but another minute or so until the water could be considered anywhere near being cool. Meantime, LJ is waiting patiently, anxious for me to spray him and cool him down. Hannah also appreciates being hosed down. The other three pass, but they do lay in the kiddie swimming pool that we fill for the dogs all through the summer.

It goes on like this for many more weeks. It stays hot until about the first week of November when it finally begins to cool down. I can't wait. In the meantime, I do what I can to get by. Which mostly means staying inside with the air conditioning. It's even warm at 4am when we milk. The flies are dying out though, thankfully. That's one good thing about living in a dry, hot climate. I was milking after sunrise this morning, and I only noticed one fly.

Until next time.

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LJ's Heart On His Chest

Did I ever post a picture of my puppy's heart on his chest?

Here is a picture from when he was eight weeks old.

I'd never even noticed the heart, but a

friend of mine saw it and pointed it out to me.

Here it is today -- it is less heart shaped,

but I took a marker and drew an outline.

Until next time.

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Burst of Energy July 2006

Today I had some energy! It comes so seldom, and there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. The only thing I can think is it has to do with my cycle and hormones. It used to happen that way when I was younger. I could count on having a monthly burst of energy, but not anymore. I have found that it is helpful to go back to sleep after milking in the morning, but I really dislike doing that, since so much of the day is just gone.

YESTERDAY, I was up at 4am to milk, and back in the house by 5am. I spent some time on the computer, then worked with the pupster and taught him to play dead when I shoot at him with my finger and thumb pointed like a gun. ;-) He learned in one session! I didn't show dh until today, so we could practice again today. He's got it though!! He's SOOOO intelligent and eager to please. I love this puppy so much! But after that, I was SOOOOO tired, I was back in bed to nap by 8am. What's the use of trying to muddle through when I'm not getting anything done anyway? I slept until 11am, did the noon feeding and dh and ds2 were home by 2pm. Dh and I went to town to get the grocery shopping done and over with. Ds2 made hamburger burros when we got home. In spite of napping for three hours, I was in bed by 7:30pm last night, tired again.

Anyway, I digress mightily!

So THIS MORNING... I was up at 4am to milk. Finished milking, fed and watered the goats. Dh has been feeding and watering the cows, turkeys and chickens each morning before he leaves for work at 4am. I came in and processed the milk. I had my 12 ounces of Vanilla Maple Milk. I poured it over ice this time -- it was delicious -- thank you for suggesting that, bfmomma!

I noticed this morning that small fruit orchard looked really stressed. So I made my mind up that I was going back outside and water. Once I got out there, I couldn't just water -- I realized that the trees are going to die unless the watering hole around them was widened. They need more water -- not more waterings, but more water at one time. It is important here to water deeply so the root system can grow down deep into the ground. We have high winds from March to May and if you water shallowly the tree's roots will remain close to the surface, so the chances of being knocked down are greater.

OH MY GOSH. That was so hard. I probably worked for one hour. I don't know how hot it was, but yesterday at the same time it was 91°F. I dug berms around 5 trees, and 4 grapevines. I doubled watered most of the trees -- meaning I filled the tiny berm that was around them first, then dug, then filled the bigger berm with water. Poor things, they still looked stressed this afternoon at 3pm. I was quite overheated when I got back into the house. It's stupid because the water that comes out of the shower at first is icy cold. You can't step into an ice cold shower when overheated, I didn't want to give myself a heart attack or something like that. So I had to wait until it was a bit warmer, but then by the time I got in the shower and got used to the warmer water, and wanted to slowly make it colder and colder and colder, the water is now hotter than lukewarm straight from the pipes. SIGH. I laid on the bed with the fan blowing on me, which helped me cool down some more. But my head was so danged hot, it felt like it was a hot potato out of the oven. Finally I got this ice pack thing that we keep in the freezer for aches and pains and applied it to my forehead and eyes, then the back of my head. I laid there a while until I cooled down.

Then I decided to clean off the computer shelf in the bedroom (since the computer is now in the living room) and bring in the mirror that my MIL gave me to go with the dresser she gave me several months ago. It was so covered with dirt and debris I had to spray it off with a hose. I got that done, and worked on the kitchen a while, washed a couple loads of dishes and wiped off counters. Then I was hungry, so made myself breakfast -- butter fried chicken breast with zucchini and eggplant -- continuing to work on the kitchen while it was cooking.

I also washed my weekly load of clothes, plus the bedding!! I was on a roll!! I put in another load of the guys' clothes, and I tidied up the living room and vacuumed. Later in the day I actually folded my clothes and put them away, and made up the bed again.

Click here to read my computer entry for today I'm So Excited - DVD Player.

Until next time.

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Ocarina Update I

I found the CD that gives Lessons 1 through 5!!! I also found the little booklet that comes with the ocarina. I'm getting closer to my goal. Good thing I have a few months to go.

Until next time.

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I'm So Excited -- DVD Player

A friend of mine gifted me with the Season 1 DVD set of Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan! It is in exchange for my help with creating a synopsis of the episodes... so it wasn't totally a gift. :-) But at least I don't have to buy it myself! I was planning to, so it was very kind of her to help me out (since it's gonna help her out, lol!!)

After I got a lot of things done this morning (see Burst of Energy July 2006) it was time to tackle the computer! I have been stressing about the fact I haven't done backups in FOREVER, and I had the problem with my computer this past week. Oh yeah, it turns out that AVG hasn't been running scans regularly because the schedule was set to run when the computer was off. So we had like EIGHT viruses!! And I ran Spybot Search and Destroy, too. I've been running AVG once a day now, along with Spybot. I also defragged one night. So the comp's better, but still connecting at 19.2bps. I really need to just reformat the drive and start with a fresh install of Windows. (GAG, I hate doing that!)

I put in one of the CD burners. I have two from work and one of my own. I have a program called Nero Ahead, which apparently only works WITH the burner with which it was originally bundled. I put one burner in. It wouldn't complete the burn. So I switched that one for another one. That one worked! I got all my backups done, but somehow I forgot my 2004 pictures!

Then it was time to get the DVD player. It took me quite a while to figure out how to remove it from the computer in which it was residing. The computer was one a friend gave to me. It stopped working for her daughter, and I had determined the only thing wrong with it was it needed a new hard drive. That seemed to fix it initially but then it stopped working again, so I have not pursued finding out what its problem was. But I wanted the DVD player out of it for this computer, so I can play Cesar's shows and type my notes. The only other DVD player we have belongs to ds2, and it's in his room. Plus, it's easier for me to type notes than scribble and then retype.

They put the computers together like a complex puzzle, it's almost impossible to figure out how to open them up! This particular one was an HP. Anyway, I finally got the DVD player out, and I am not sure how to set up the computer to accept both the burner and the DVD player at once. I know there is something about making one master, and one slave, but I am not sure. So I took the easy route. Removed the burner, and put the DVD player in its place. Whoooo!! "Almost there," I thought!

I got the DVD player in there, and put in one of the DVDs... opened it with Windows Media Player, only to find that I don't have something called a DVD decoder. So off to the Internet I go, looking for a plug-in. I figured it would be free, and I probably could have found one had I looked long enough, but I went for the smallest sized program (remember the stupid slow 19,200bps Internet connection?) which was 171KB. Really small, but hey, some programs work great and they are small. The others were 8MB and 10MB, etc.

I had to pay $15 for the program and finally got it purchased and started the download. SON OF A GUN!! The danged file was SEVENTEEN MEGABYTES!! ARGH!!! I was afraid it was going to take ten hours to download. There was no turning back now. I already bought the thing, I'm not buying one of the smaller ones. Thankfully it only took TWO AND A HALF HOURS to download. WHEW. I couldn't help but think throughout the download time that the 8MB program would have only taken half as long. Not to mention hogging up all that hard drive space.

So I got that program loaded and YIPPEEE!!! it works now!! I can watch DVD movies on my computer, yay!!! Now I just have to figure out how to install the CD burner along with the DVD player so I can use both. That shouldn't be too hard to do. I know of two people that can walk me through the process so once I get hold of one of them it should be a piece of cake. I really need to get those 2004 pictures saved or I'll be very unhappy if I lose them.

Until next time.

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Vanilla Maple Milk

I tried to post this the other day, but something happened. I actually think my computer froze up on me! I had fonted on about a bunch of other things, and after I lost it all, I just said forget it.

Anyway, here's a new recipe I invented:

12 ounces raw milk
1 T. Grade B Organic Maple Syrup
1/2 t. vanilla

Pour the milk into a glass, add the syrup and the vanilla. Stir. Voila! I'm trying to drink more raw milk, and I have read that it's even more healthful if you drink it as soon as possible after leaving its original container. :-) So this morning, I brought the milk in, strained it, poured myself a glass and drank it warm with the syrup and vanilla. It was pretty good. Not as DELICIOUS as when it is ICE COLD, but better than plain warm milk, which I don't care too much for. Sometime I will probably see how it tastes with a couple of egg yolks added, which should be very much like eggnog. Especially if I used rum flavoring, instead of vanilla.

This morning I ended up with ONE GALLON of milk for the house. This is after feeding the orphans their breakfast quart and holding back their afternoon quart. That is the most we've gotten in days. Dh has finally started to separate the kids when he does the afternoon feeding. He was waiting and letting me do it when I got home. He feels sorry for the kids, having to be separated from their mothers. But they have grown used to it now, as it's been routine to them for several weeks. And I do think the mother appreciate having a break from their kids banging them in the udder (sometimes they literally beat the udder as they are "bumping" it to get more milk to let down). Anyway, I pointed out to him that I think the mothers appreciate the overnight break, and the kids don't mind the separation now anyway. So I guess it made sense to him because ever since he's been separating them earlier.

It's really not too difficult to do, now that we have a routine worked out. In the beginning, we'd chase down kids one at a time and put them over the fence. But that was just too crazy, especially once it started getting hotter out. Okay, so here is the routine: Throw a flake of hay in the kid pen. All the goats will file into that area. Go into the kid pen and close the gate that blocks the does from the kid pen. Now go back out, throw two flakes of hay in the doe pen. Then go back in to the kid pen and begin filtering adults through the kid pen gate that leads to the doe pen. Block any kids that have wandered over to see about those other flakes of hay. Soon all the adults are where they should be and the babies are where they should be. It always worked out better to remove the dam from her kid, instead of removing the kid from the dam.

Until next time.

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Helping the 18 wheelers

Dh and I have taught ds2 the importance of courtesy on the road. He recently got his driver's license and he just loves it when the big truckers signal a "thank you" when he's helped them merge into traffic.

I love it too, it can really make my day when someone is nice to me on the road, instead of being mean and nasty.

This morning, I had the opportunity to help a trucker merge over. I had to merge over, too, I was behind him, so I finally got my chance to merge and then I flashed my headlights to let him know I was going to hold back the traffic in my lane for him. Unfortunately it took him another minute or two, since cars were swerving around me, into the lane ahead of me, totally not paying attention to the fact that he was needing to get over. He had to get over two lanes and had just under a mile (8/10ths) to do it in. Neither of us could not have gotten over any earlier because of the way this section of the freeway merges. When he finally merged, he flashed his lights at me. My dh and I always called them "brake taps" but that never made since to us since why would they tap on their brakes?

So I got curious this morning and I searched on Google for what those lights could be. First I found a really awful site, full of mean, road raging truckers seething with anger over the rest of us morons. But then I found Trucker Dude's blog with an entry entitled Merging. The entire entry was very interesting to me, but this snippet was of the most interest... hang on, I'm still connecting at 19,200bps, AND my computer is slower than molasses, this totally SUCKS. It takes at least THREE whole minutes for Blogger to log me in!! SCREAM!!!

And I'm still WAITING for the blog entry to load, so I can copy the small paragraph that explains what those lights are. Okay, finally, here it is: "But the flip side is that if you do slow to allow me to merge with you, I'll almost always thank you by flashing my clearance lights a couple of times or turn on the 4-way flashers for a few seconds. Many truckers do this and you may have wondered what it was about--now you know." Click on the link Merging above to read the entire entry.

Very informative reading and we should be courteous and considerate of all the truckers out there, after all they can easily crush us in our "four wheelers" like an aluminum can if we aren't careful.

And I got "my" parking space this morning. So I was happier. How silly for something like getting to park in "my" spot to make me happier. Well, that and the trucker thanking me. The main thing about my parking spot is it is under two olive trees. That provides shade, which keeps the temperature in the vehicle to a reasonable temperature, say 150°F. If I park in an unshaded area, it is more like 250°F with the seats and steering wheel blistering hot. "My" parking spot *IS* first come, first serve, but I still view it as my own.

Time for bed!! After my bedtime, actually.

Until next time.

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Computer Problems

I don't have enough patience to blog at home anymore and I'm not getting up earlier than I already am, just to get to work earlier to blog three days a week!!!

I suspected that I have the Sasser Worm/Virus whatever, at home, and have downloaded two tools to fix it, and neither one found anything wrong. My computer is running SLLLLLOOOWWW, and I can't connect faster than 19,200bps. Talk about living in the dark ages!! I couldn't connect to the Internet all day long Saturday because my ISP's phone number was busy, and when I called to find out what the problem was I discovered they outsource their tech support to India (at least it certainly seemed that way for the hard to understand accents and non-helpful attempts to help)!! I wish it weren't so hard to change email addresses when you've had the same one for years, or I'd find a local provider tomorrow. The tech support was NO help and at the first level they even told me to go into msconfig and make changes, which ever since I keep getting a message when I reboot, and I'm taken to msconfig and asked to change things there, or see this popup message forever.

Do you think they even considered the fact that the error message was 676 Line is busy, and I could hear a busy signal could mean their lines were busy? Of course not. It had to be on MY end. I finally told them they were no help at all, I was hanging up and I'd wait a few hours until their lines weren't so busy. It worked. I tried later in the day and connected.

Anyway, I AM at work, and as I pulled into the parking lot someone was pulling into MY SPOT.

So I'm a grump today.

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Fit to Be Tied

I was really irritated at the local library yesterday. When I was a stay at home mother, many years ago, we used to go to the library every single week. I'd keep a revolving list of the books we checked out, and the ones that were due. Now that I work, drive over 2 hours a day to that job in the "big" city, have livestock, etc., I can't even keep track of one book and get it back to the library on time.

So I owed the library some fines on books, about $20. Ds2 had also misplaced a book that he'd checked out, so anytime we'd lost a book in the past (which was rare, in spite of the messy house!) I'd just buy a copy and replace it. Half.com is GREAT for that, so I went right there and bought a copy. AGH, I was trying to find out how much I paid for the book, and finally found the confirmation email. I purchased it used from Amazon, paid $7.15 total.

The book arrived, I haven't had time to take it back to the library. I received a notice by email yesterday that unless I brought the book back, or paid for its replacement $11.95 plus $5.00 processing fee, they would turn me in to a collection agency. And they will do it. It happened to my sister, who has paid a small fortune in late library books to the library system.

I thought, "I had better get that book taken in."

So I went after I got off work yesterday. When the book arrived, I noticed it was a library discard, interestingly, from a library in another county in our state. I didn't think it would matter one way or the other, but I did take the time yesterday morning before leaving for work to remove the tape and sticker information which was pasted across the top of the book. I didn't bother to remove the spinal tape information, nor the first inside page which indicated it was a library discard.

As soon as the librarian saw that this was a library discard, she told me they could not accept it as a replacement book. I was really irritated by this and muttered and griped while she stared at her computer screen. I asked how long was this going to take because I had to go to a town 1.5 hours away and she told me I could come back another day if it would be better for me, since this was going to take a few minutes.

I told her I'd rather wait. I figured if I didn't just get the thing paid, they'd turn me into a collection agency...

I called my sister after this was over, to warn her about replacing books with library discards. She told me she had experienced it before, and she had learned to JUST PAY FOR THE BOOK instead of trying to replace it. She says they just want your money. She told me what will really drive you crazy is you just paid to replace a book, then as you are looking at the library's own cart full of discards, you find the very book you just paid to replace!!!!

She says they want brand new books. I told her I CANNOT believe the library would prefer to have one less book in circulation, than to accept a used copy. What if the book in question is out of print??? And as I just discovered, according to Amazon, the book I was trying to replace IS out of print!! I said yesterday I was planning to write a letter of complaint to the library (and we all know how much good letters of complaint do for us nowadays since customer service is dead) and now armed with this information that the book is out of print, I am definitely going to complain.

So as it turns out, with the fines on this book, paying for the cost to replace it, paying for the processing fee, plus the other fines, I ended up giving them $40 and some cents. I was FIT TO BE TIED!!

Here is the rundown of the fees on that one book:
$2.20 Fine
$3.20 Fine
$5.60 Fine
$6.95 Lost Item
$5.00 Processing Fee

$22.95 PLUS the $7.15 I paid to Amazon. $30.10!!!

ARGH!! Paying out that kind of money for late fees just about kills me!! I almost come unglued if I ever forget to pay a credit card bill and they add that ENORMOUS, OUTRAGEOUS late fee. Actually, I think it's happened twice, with two different cards, and I was able to get the charge removed as a one time courtesy.

As long as I'm complaining, I may as well confess to having missed on getting THREE, not just one or two but THREE rebates turned in, in the past few months!!! I have always been fanatical about getting rebates -- wait, I just remembered a FOURTH one -- SCREAM!! But, I have always been PERFECT at getting rebates turned in. I KNOW the companies offer them, betting that half or more of the people who buy the item will forget to do it, or will lose some piece you have to turn in, or will turn it in missing something.

I swear, they are using a new tactic to discourage rebating. All rebates used to end on the last day of the month. If you had to buy the thing within a certain time period, it was usually a month, say June 1 to June 30. The date the rebate had to be turned in was say July 31st. But now, they make the dates arbitrary, so who can keep track of them? The latest rebates I missed out on, you had to purchase the product between 5/30 and 6/24. The rebate had to be postmarked by 7/10. Well, I got confused, and thought the 24th was the last day for postmark. So I looked on the 11th, to find I'd missed the date. One refund purchase was a case of oil, $13.08, and the rebate was for $6.00. Luckily the other item doesn't work for us, a $26.99 jack with a $7.00 rebate, so we'll just take that item back to the store and get the money back on it.

The other rebates I missed out on, one was OUCH OUCH OUCH THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS from when dh and dh2 bought a bunch of power tools from Home Depot. I think dh says we could take those tools back though, and buy them cheaper (about $35 less) from Lowe's. We may yet do that. The last rebate was a tiny one, for a set of automatic pencils I'd purchased and they would have been free. Something like $1.49.

I did manage to send in the rebate for $35 off when I purchased ds2's cell phone!!

One more thing, and I'll try to stop for the day. I have a credit card through Amazon, and I get 3 points for every dollar's worth of things I charge through Amazon, and 1 point for every dollar elsewhere. When I get 2500 points, I get a $25 gift certificate from Amazon. I get quite a bit of junk mail every week. So I am sure Amazon uses this ploy in hopes that people just throw away the gift certificate when it arrives in the mail. They make the envelope look like JUNK MAIL. It indicates the return address is "Reward Headquarters" and it looks just like junk mail! I ALMOST threw away the first of my $25 gift certificates, but I decided to just look and make sure of what was in the envelope. Because usually something that says "Reward Headquarters" is some stupid piece of junkmail telling you if you return something within so many days, you will WIN $5000 dollars but in small print (your entry will be placed in a drawing). You know? The gift certificate also has an expiration date. So Amazon offers the credit card, hopes you spend lots of money and pay lots of interest on the credit card, just to get $25 every so often, which the average person is too busy (I almost am too busy or maybe that's just braindead) to keep track of, and then the GC comes in a junk mail envelope, and then the person has to remember to use it and not misplace it.

I once did one of those offers where you get a gift card for $50. I actually managed to stay with it for the duration of the hoop jumping and got the gift card. It took WEEKS!!

I had to stop signing up for 3 month free offers through mypoints.com because I kept forgetting to cancel the membership before they charged my credit card some horrid amount like $79.95. They are great at refunding the money, but they talk your ear off trying to get you to realize what a great deal you are missing out on. "HEY, I only signed up for the stupid thing to get 200 points through MyPoints, okay?!"

I still get upset sometimes because Fry's Electronics never sent a $20 rebate. I wrote letters and called and called and called. Their customer service department sucks. Every time I'd call, they would have a new person working the rebate problems. I finally gave up trying because they would say they would look into it and call me back. Their whole store sucks. Maybe one employee at any given time knows how to walk and chew gum at the same time. Once, I went in looking for a microcassette recorder. The young man I asked where to find them, told me they had discontinued them and no longer carried them. JERK! I found an older man, and he took me right to the entire aisle's worth of microcassette recorders. I went to the manager and complained that time. I do have to say that when I bought our KitchenAid mixer, the young man who helped me was HELPFUL. I complimented him and come to find out his former job was working for his family's restaurant and so he actually knew how to treat a customer with respect. I told him that was so important and to keep up the good work.

I hate babysitting problems like never arriving rebates. I have a problem similar to this going on with our mortgage company. The second year of the mortgage, my insurance agent stopped handling one insurance company that was costing over $600/year, for one that is $429/year. Well, the $600+ company decided to take it upon themselves to bill the escrow company directly, who proceeded to pay BOTH insurance companies. I caught it quickly the first year it happened, when I received a notice that the mortgage was going up, due to the escrow being in the red. They reversed that. That was probably December 2003 that I got that straightened out. I never received an escrow schedule or mortgage increase in December 2004, so assumed all was well, I actually remember thinking "No news is good news" and assuming that since they'd done it once, they wouldn't do it again. End of May, I received notice that the mortgage was going up by SEVENTY dollars! I looked over the escrow schedule, and noticed that $625 had been paid to an insurance company in March, and coincidentally I had just received my insurance paperwork which stated my policy is $429/year. So I knew that was wrong. But then I noticed that the escrow account started out $616 in the red for the fiscal year. I called them and discovered that yes, the escrow company had made two insurance payments in June 2005. One for $616 and one for $429, within TEN DAYS of each other!!

So now my escrow company has paid out over $1200 to a second insurance company, and expects me to suck it up and pay more money on my mortgage every month. With the price of gasoline going higher and higher as I type, price of food and everything else rising, I DON'T THINK SO! I have been calling them every single Monday, and I paid the mortgage late this month, with a handwritten letter that indicated I am not in agreement with the higher amount, just because I'm paying it this month, and that I expect for them to get things straightened out with the month of July and have my payment back to NORMAL!!

Doesn't anyone pay attention nowadays to their job!? Or is everyone else's mind as foggy as mine? One of my relatives fiancee is a lawyer and is in the military. She says take them to small claims court if they won't reverse it. I know I'm going to have to keep calling every Monday, nagging, nagging, nagging them or they will conveniently forget it.

SIGH.

Until next time.

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Ocarina Update

I found my ocarina. I have not been able to locate the instruction booklet and CD, although I do know where the Christmas songbook and the Hymns songbook is at. I have a vague idea of where to begin to look for the CD and instructions, hopefully I can find those within the next month.

Until next time.

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The Flies Part II

I blogged a couple weeks ago about how horrible the flies are. It's easier to see the millions of flies in the inset of the brick, but you can click on the photo to see a larger image if you are really curious. Basically, every little black spot you see is a fly.

Disgusting, eh? When I came home yesterday afternoon, we had to leave right away to take the radiator from our other vehicle to town. So I parked on the side of the house, instead of at the back. When I saw all the flies, in the shade, drinking the cool water (which leaks from the outlet valve of the air conditioner), I just had to snap a few shots! I also made the mistake of leaving my vehicle's door open while I took the pictures, so by the time dh and I were ready to leave, a hundred flies had taken up residence inside! We were swatting and opening and closing the windows all the way into town, and then there were still more flying around on the way home.

Thankfully, whoever tends the cantaloupe fields finally had mercy on everyone that lives for ten square miles or however far flies can fly... and plowed the rotten cantaloupe into the ground. The fly has a life span of 15-30 days. So we shouldn't have to deal with these suckers for too many more weeks.

Until next time.

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Happy Birthday to my Blog

Or should that be Happy First Anniversary? I'm not sure which is proper... I have been leaning toward "birthday" so birthday it is.

My blog has evolved from my original plans. As I recall, I had planned to mostly talk about Nourishing Traditions, and hoped my blogging would help me stay on track in that regard. It has now become more than that. I do still try to keep the whining to a minimum.

Unfortunately today has been one of those days. I am always tired, especially with my new schedule which I cannot seem to get used to. Getting up at 5am and trying for 8pm to get into bed was working out pretty good. Getting up at 4am every single day sucks. Especially when I can't plan to get into bed an hour early. I am reluctant to nap in the daytime, because then I'm not tired by 8pm and it becomes a vicious cycle. Some days I'm ready to go back to bed by 6am!! This morning was one of those days. But one of our doeling's disbudding didn't work on the first try. Poor baby, I had to put her through that again. It is very stressful for me, and it does hurt them momentarily. It also didn't help that she's six weeks old, and nearly didn't fit into the disbudding box. So I couldn't just go back to bed after milking, I had to process and get the milk chilling, then go back outside and work on her.

I also decided to gather fresh berries. UH. I mean goat manure... I have never done that before, but two of our does are very thin, they are skeletal almost. I am going to have some fecals done, to see what their worm load is like. They could be skinny due to a heavy infestation, or as they are first fresheners, they may just do this each year after kidding. Get really skinny for a while and then put on weight after their kids are weaned.

I also have had in the back of my mind, this microscope we have. I kept reassuring myself, if I ever wanted to try doing the fecals myself, I could, because we have a microscope. So I went looking for it today, on these shelves, where it has been for at least two years. Finally called dh and ds2. Talked with ds2. He told me he threw it away when he did some decluttering. I about screamed at that point. Then I decided to try using this kiddie microscope that my SIL got rid of. It's not *that* kiddie, goes up to 1000x. But I could not figure out how to use the dang thing! Turns out I was looking in the wrong viewer. DUH. Then I discovered there was dust in the lens somewhere, because every single slide looked exactly the same, no matter how I moved it around.

It only costs $5 for each fecal. One of my goat mentors said catch berries from the fattest and the skinniest. So I stood out there with an old plastic pitcher (not sure how THAT didn't make it into the dump on the decluttering rampage) watching and waiting... until I could catch berries from the ones I wanted them from. Ideally, and if I could do it myself, I could do fecals from more than just two, and not have to pay a dime for it. Once we worm, we should run them again. It could become a costly thing. I believe one of my books recommends fecals every six weeks. Because if your goats are too wormy, it costs you more money to take care of them. They eat more, they get sick more often. They give less milk, etc.

I was going to send in the samples anyway, but I wanted to try doing it myself, too, to see if I could figure out how to do it. Goat berries do not have any smell at all, so it wasn't an unpleasant procedure.

Too much information on goat husbandry?

How about we talk about perimenopause and the Perimenopause Fairy? I think I'm being visited by the PM Fairy at least several days a month. Makes life hell for the menfolk around here, I'm sure. I don't want to be difficult to live with, trust me. Well, I don't really want to talk about PM anyway.

Until next time.

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Hummingbird Nest

I got to see something really neat today, and it wasn't even in the country, but in the "big" city! Dh and I were at his sister's home today, and he pointed out the hummingbird on its nest. It made a tiny little nest on two electrical wires on their back porch.

I took a few pictures, and he said I should get pictures of the eggs. I told him I couldn't because there was no clearance for the camera. The bird's head was about 2 inches from the ceiling. So he said I should do like his sister did, to see the eggs in the nest. He said she used a mirror! Brilliant! My mom gave me a cool little set of pink pens and a tiny mirror was included with the set. I have been carrying the tiny little mirror in my purse, it's about 1.5" in diameter. So dh got a chair and we shooed Tiny Mama off the nest, and he held the mirror at an angle so I could get a shot of the eggs. Is that cool or what?!
Until next time.

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How Safe is Raw Milk?

Here is a site that gives a lot of information about raw milk. You really have to know your source, when you are intent on consuming raw milk. Some studies say milk is bad for you, but these are nearly always based on pasteurized, homogenized milk from confined cows that are fed grain and injected with hormones.

Here's one more link with lots of good links on raw milk: Save Your Dairy : Articles

It rained here on Wednesday, rather I guess that would be early Thursday morning. Just after midnight, we got a HUGE downpour. Rather than deal with milking in the rain yesterday morning, we just let the kids in with their dams and that left only one doe to milk. We have 3 gallons of milk frozen, so we aren't too desperate, although my mom and I need to work out a delivery system to get my youngest sister's milk to her (she doesn't have a car).

I had to work late yesterday... attended a meeting that was supposed to last from 2-3pm, but lasted until almost 4:30pm, then had to take a deposit to the bank for my agency. Anyway, I usually separate the kids from their dams when I get home around 5 and since I got home much later, and it looked like it might rain again, we didn't separate the kids last night.

It was like taking a vacation to only have to look forward to milking one doe. As it turned out, I did milk Miss L, because she wanted to be milked (she's always milked first) and she did give me a pound (rather than her normal donation which is 2 or 3 pounds). Then it was Miss Little Stupid's turn and she gave me 2.5 pounds.

I'm going back to bed for a nap. I'm already so tired, I can't stand it. I had to drink coffee every day this week at work, just to stay awake.

Until next time.

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Superman Returns

One more thing on this computer and then I'm off to clean the kitchen. Ds1 and I went to see Superman Returns. I left feeling depressed. As my MIL described it... it was quite a "dark" movie.

If you are planning to go see Superman Returns, you may not want to read any further, for I'm sure I will spoil it for you.

I was disappointed. How stupid can Lois Lane be? She's supposed to be this phenomenal reporter, an intelligent savvy woman, but Clark Kent AND Superman are gone for five years, they suddenly arrived back in town at the same time but she still doesn't GET that they are the same person? And what was with that description of Superman being 6'4" and weighing 125 pounds? Did I hear that wrong? A man of steel, weighing in at only 125? Sounds odd. But she described Clark as weighing around 200 pounds? So that makes him a fatso and no way possible for him to be Superman. Huh?

Also, Superman no longer stands for the "Truth, Justice and the American Way" but "Truth, Justice and All That Stuff". What's up with that?

Lois has a boyfriend that she's been living with all these years. He's obviously crazy about her. Thank goodness Lois did the "right thing" and didn't leap into Superman's arms. I know that people think that's just fine to do, you know "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along" but what about the pain and agony you cause to the one you've been committed to all these years? Just like that, out the window. Why did they have to throw that wrench in there? Why couldn't Lois have just been alone, waiting for Superman to come back? Why did she have to be involved? Well, she wasn't married at least, right? So that's okay. She can ditch the guy asap. Way too much to say about this, so I won't.

And how could Superman keep on going when he had a sliver of kryptonite imbedded in his skin?

And if you really don't want to be disappointed, don't read any further.

I warned you.

Superman and Lois have a child together. Lois just figured it out when her son threw a baby grand piano at a bad guy trying to hurt his mommy.

I gotta get to the kitchen.

Until next time.

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Loading The Water Tank

My first try backing up, I'm pretty darn good at this!

Here's how close I got after I finished backing up a bit more. Then I had to get up onto the yellow truckbed and shove the tank over to the trailer. It's time like these that I'm so glad that I weigh what I do, because I can just use my body against things to move them.

Here's a picture of our front gate -- remember a couple weeks ago I knocked it down? It's a huge gate! If you look for the green star, that's where the community well is at. It is 1/5th of a mile from the well to our underground tank. We are lucky to be so close to it.

Now I'm at the community well. The green hose is connected to the well where the arrow points, then I climb up onto the trailer, open the lid on top of the tank, poke it in, jump down and turn on the well.

Here's how the trailer looks when the tank is fully loaded. I noticed once the tank was full that the driver's side tire was a bit flat! At first, I always wanted to tank shoved forward as far as it would go, but then the trailer shifts its weight to the front of it, which means it puts all the weight on the back of my vehicle, then my vehicle is dragging way down. The tank should ride centered over the tires of the trailer for the best ride.

I managed to be a newbie at getting water... I haven't helped get water in a long time, maybe two years?! I unhooked the hose from the well, but I left the hose in the tank. When I lowered the hose to the ground to empty it... what do you think started happening? The water from the tank started siphoning out onto the ground!! I panicked for a moment, pressing my fingers tight around the hose, stopping the flow of water. "What do I do, what do I do?" I thought wildly. You have to understand, by now it's like 104°F and I'm dripping sweat, my face is red, all in the name of being neighborly, aghhhh!!! So then I remembered if I raise the hose end above the height of the other end, it will stop the siphoning thang. It worked!! I bet the people in the red truck behind me were laughing. Oh well, I've laughed my fair share at well newbies. ;-)

I took one load to our neighbor and he was very grateful to me for making the trip. He offered me bottled water, which I gratefully accepted, and thanked me over and over again. I don't think he wanted to put me out. The really cool thing is, I had never met him prior to last Monday. My dh wanted me to come with him, and bring LJ to pick up a few sheets of OSB. Dh wanted our neighbor to meet LJ, and wanted LJ to get to meet him and the guy's dogs. The neighbor has a young female pitbull with markings like LJ. So this way, when I showed up in a different vehicle with water, at least the guy knew who I was. I like when things happen that way. I like to think God was watching out for me in that little way. It sure made things a lot more comfortable for me, since I had met the guy already.

I called my dh and let him know I'd dropped the one load and he said I should go ahead and do a second one, since I was already out. So I went back over and his tank only took 200 gallons, so then I came home and dumped the rest into our underground tank.

Oh and I'm so excited. I figured out how to link the pictures that I uploaded to ImageShack without having to wait 15-20 seconds for each upload through Blogger. I just hope it works once I publish this post. More on that another time. And I love my new purple colors on my blog. I didn't know I liked purple so much, to be honest with you.

Until next time.

This post is part three of the Hauling Water series:
Water Hauling High Hopes Part 1 of 3

Water Hauling We Jes' Call That Bein' Neighborly Part 2 of 3

Water Hauling Loading the Water Tank Part 3 of 3

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We Jes' Call That Bein' Neighborly

At the end of my last entry, I was going to haul a load of water for our neighbor, since my dh is out of town until Monday. There's no way that guy could have waited, if he was almost out. He has no way to haul his own water, and frankly he pays us well to do it for him. He also has been giving my dh stuff that he gets from his job site, like a box of nails, a dozen sheets of OSB. So it's been pretty good so far. I noticed today, this actually boosted my impression of him a few notches... no beer. I saw a couple of cases of bottled water, a 12 pack of Sprite, but no beer. I can't help it, I have a prejudice against beer drinkers. I realize that maybe there are a few that are not alcoholics, but alcoholism has been too close to my life, and in fact, nearly wrecked our lives for several years.

Anyway! I took pictures of the process of getting water. It actually ended up being much more of an ordeal than it should have been. As I said, I had to unload and hitch up the trailer. You can see some of the sheets of OSB there against the side of the trailer. So I moved all that stuff. Next I backed my vehicle up to the tongue of the trailer. Pretty darn close for my first try. I tried to lift the trailer just enough to plop it over the ball, no go. My dh can, but I don't have anywhere near that kind of strength.

So that means I to get creative.The white star marks the spot where the truck hitch and the trailer tongue are right next to each other. The red star shows where the trailer's jack is located, it is jacked up as far as it can go. The yellow star is where I stacked several 2x4's with the vehicle's jack on top, then I had to jack up the trailer tongue so it would clear the ball.

Once I got the trailer tongue high enough, I had to move my vehicle into place.

Whoops! Overshot by a few inches. If I had gone back much further, I would have banged the trailer tongue into my vehicle's bumper.

Back to the driver's seat, to pull the truck slowly forward. Once I got everything in place, I couldn't get the trailer tongue to sink down around the ball properly. There was an inch gap. That just won't do. I could lose the trailer if it's not hitched and secured properly. Since my vehicle's jack was as high as it could go, and the trailer's jack was hovering off the ground, I had to shove a couple boards under the trailer's jack and then proceed to jack it up enough so that I could jiggle that little apparatus inside the trailer tongue's hitch which was blocking the tongue hitch from securing itself down around the hitch ball!!

FINALLY, I'm hitched up properly... ready to back my vehicle up to where the 500 gallon tank sits. All my life, I had wished I could learn how to back up trailers. Well, shortly after we moved out here I had the opportunity to learn, because we bought this trailer specifically to haul our water. For that matter, we also purchased the vehicle we did, so that it had the ability to haul our water for us. Nowadays, we use our big truck, but since dh and ds2 were out of town, and I was just trying to be neighborly...

Apparently Blogger doesn't like me adding more than a couple of pictures! I am growling weary, I mean GROWING weary of trying to compose this post. I've saved as a draft several times, and I'm even being nice to Blogger and not loading all the pictures to its servers, but linking to ImageShack.

I have had lunch, talked at length with my mother, then my sister, while wiping out, reloading and inventorying the big freezer, and periodically trying to finish this post, which no one but me cares about anyway.

As my patience grows thin, you may be implored to simply use your imagination... or better yet, maybe I just need to make 10 more blog entries for today...

To be continued...

This post is part two of the Hauling Water series:
Water Hauling High Hopes Part 1 of 3

Water Hauling We Jes' Call That Bein' Neighborly Part 2 of 3

Water Hauling Loading the Water Tank Part 3 of 3

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High Hopes

Remember the lyrics, "High hopes, he's got. . . high hopes, he's got, high in the sky, apple pie, hopes"?? That song's kind of echoing in my head today. Only because I feel like I have some desire to do something, and that something seems to be clean the refrigerators and freezers. Yes, I meant plural. We have three refrigerators and two upright freezers. Where else do you think we put all the milk, eggs and fermenting foods? ;-)

Seriously, all my life I used to think my mother and one of my sisters were a little bit stooopid for having more than one refrigerator. I used to think it was just making them more work. I held firm for years with my family, refusing to allow us to have more than one refrigerator. When we moved out here, I was told about a lady that was selling her upright freezer for $50. I acquiesed. Next thing you know, we get chickens, then goats. The second year we had does in milk, and 3 dozen hens, it became obvious we needed another refrigerator. Then somewhere along the way, we acquired a third refrigerator, and then a second freezer!

Two of my guys, dh and ds2 are out of town for a couple of days. They have a job they are working on and in order to save gas, they are staying overnight tonight and maybe on Sunday night, too. So ds1 and I are home alone. I should just take it totally easy, and do NOTHING. After all, no one would know what I did for two whole days. But I decided maybe I'd clean out the refrigerators and freezers this weekend. I have already started on the freezers. One is already empty. We have it on the porch, but we emptied it and unplugged it due to the heat of the summer. We think it would take too much energy to keep it running out in the heat. That is where I put my foot down. We can fill the house with freezers and refrigerators, but we aren't going to have one outdoors in the heat! During the winter, yes.

I removed all the food from the indoor upright freezer, turned it off and have it thawing out. I am planning to do an INVENTORY of what is in it! No one ever knows what is in there. We are continually buying more food, because we are out.

The whole high hopes thing is about all the things I'm hoping to get done. There is a bag of chicken breast thawed out in one fridge, and a pork loin in another. I finished cooking a goat shoulder yesterday and need to clean the meat. You know, pick the meat off the bone so it can be used in something. And there is only ds1 and I here, so we won't need to eat all this meat. I may be freezing some of it again.

I also brought home a good 8 hours worth of work from my job, since I'm going to be off on July 4th. I could go in and work on Monday or Friday, but I would just as soon work from home and save the gas.

Let's see what else... just general housecleaning. The living room needs some attention, picked up and vacuumed, the kitchen, the bedroom, bathrooms. Then I need to pay bills, and figure out how it's going with our money. And work on some computer stuff. Oh yeah. Got my whole weekend planned out.

We haul water for one of our neighbors. Let me clarify -- dh hauls water for one of our neigbors. He usually delivers water every Tuesday, but the guy's tank only holds about 300 gallons. Maybe 500. But the guy usually calls on the weekend, too. So of course, I just got the call that he needs a load. Since dh won't be back until Monday, that leaves me to deliver water. It's not that big of a deal... but the big truck is gone, so that means I get to unload the trailer, back my vehicle up to the trailer and hook it up. Then back up the trailer to where the water tank is (easier said than done), then shove the water tank off our other truck, onto the trailer, then leave the property. OH, let me take pictures. I'll be back in an hour or so.

This post is part one of the Hauling Water series:
Water Hauling High Hopes Part 1 of 3

Water Hauling We Jes' Call That Bein' Neighborly Part 2 of 3

Water Hauling Loading the Water Tank Part 3 of 3

Until next time.

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