Happy Birthday Dear Son Two

On this day you turned eighteen
My Dearest Son Two
Since you embraced hygiene
It's a delight spending time with you

Your funny stories bring tears to my eyes
Exaggerating, carrying on like a schoolgirl
Outright bold-faced lies
Each one to me a precious pearl

I especially love that your writing
is wonderfully correct
Your grammar and punctuation and spelling
is so nearly perfect

A wonderful cook you are
Constructing meals with love
Helping us eat healthier
Your talent is a gift from above

To women you show respect
I am so happy you are in touch with your feelings
It causes me to reflect
And count my blessings

Your love for God is certain
You eagerly read His word
You are a good Christian
Happy to follow your shepherd

I am proud of the man you have become
Do gooder, straight and narrow, goody-two shoes
You are simply awesome
Not like those other yahoos

Last November you stepped up
Proud is what you made your father and I
Even though I was about to crackup
You stayed calm and let me cry

A treasure hunt for your birthday
fond memory from the past
Presents from your family
Memories sure to last

New things you aren't afraid to try
like going "no poo" with your mother
Makes my heart sigh
And turns me into a bragger

Of what a wonderful son you are
And how glad I am that we had you
So glad in our life you share
The love of goats so true

This poem sucks
But it is the best I could do
Just don't upchuck
Into your shoe

Happy Birthday. I love you.